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What to do when you have no help...


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#1 vals

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 12:56 PM

I'm suppose to do my first interview today via phone for a very important position that I'm very lucky to get a call back on but thinking I should call them back and politely decline.

dd is an absolute horror show on a good day and spends much of her time crying, screaming and freaking out (today is no different) and I'm afraid that I won't be able to interview very well with WWIII going on in the back ground.

I really, REALLY want this, but with no help from family/friend and limited support from my s/o I just don't know how to do it???

Is there a way to balance it all with no support, or should I just call it a day and wait until she is in school full time before considering going back to work?

#2 DivineMrsM

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 01:05 PM

Do you not trust that a daycare provider would be able to help or handle her? I think you really should take this job, if it's offered to you. You need to do something for YOU sometimes, too, you know.

#3 TecMommY

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 01:15 PM

Do you not trust that a daycare provider would be able to help or handle her? I think you really should take this job, if it's offered to you. You need to do something for YOU sometimes, too, you know.



Totally agree!

Good luck Vals. When you get the call, maybe sit dd in front of the tv with her fav snack and toys around to keep her entertained?? :grouphug

#4 Supermel

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 01:18 PM

Honestly, i think the job will be the best thing for you! Time out of the house, playmates for your dd etc.

Just a few ramblings... I would talk to your s/o and see if some of his sick days could be used if needed to take a bit of pressure off of you in the event of inevitable illness in your dd... Is she still in a crib? If they called, i would put her in the crib, with toys and books, shut the door and go across your house/apartment as far as you can, leaving the baby monitor on low.... i would also save her fave things to do for the phone call. Also, if you suspect that she getting some molars or is fighint a sore throat or ear infection, try a dose of advil or whatever, if her behaviour evens out, its win-win and you know you may need to hit the clinic and you may get a quiet phone call! (i'm not saying drug her just because but sometimes ear infections are 'silent' and if they get pain relief and seem better you have an indication there is something going on).

Some favourite activitys at my house (can't remember your dd's age) in the young toddler stage was standing at the kitchen sink (with me on the cordless right behind her) playing in sudsy water.The sink with my 2 year old would give me a LOT of time.on the phone or making a recipe or actually washing dishes.... Playdough (even if they eat a bit), painting, stamps, gluing, stickers, movie, big bowl of hard pasta to stir and dump with bowls and wooden sppons (watch for putting it in the mouth).. I would just have about a dozen new things like your high heeled shoes, a shiny necklace (i mean you are right there)whatever you have to do to get thru the phone call.

GOod luck!

#5 Danielle

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 01:24 PM

(((hugs))) I hope you find some way to pacify her during the call. And as for day care, she may surprise you. Many kids act way different at day care or school than at home, I know mine did.

The ladies are right... You need to do something for YOU. I was right there with you when ods was about that age - I put him in Montessori and it was the best thing I could do for the whole family. We were all happier.

#6 vals

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 01:45 PM

I think I'm afraid she'll get kicked out of daycare because she is a real handful somedays and although I know children behave differently in new settings, she has done the psychotic meltdown for a family friend who watching her and even she said that I would be hard pressed to find someone who could deal with that kind of outburst. I guess I'm a little embarrassed by her crazy behavior and afraid of what would happen if she did it at daycare. Silly, I know.

As for todays interview and decided to stick it out.

I made dd a fort and she has her tv, snack, drink and everything she needs to be happy (or at least what I think she needs to be happy).

hoping she will behave, but if she doesn't I just hope my interviewer is someone with a family who understands and doesn't use it against me.

Fingers crossed! This is something I know in the long run would hugely benefit my family and would be great for me.

I've been a prisoner for two years and need to get out and be normal again :)

#7 Kris

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 01:57 PM

if she goes to daycare I would worry to much. Honestly I was so paranoid about dd staring daycare. She did not want to be away form me. Yes she did freakout and throw tantrums for the first six weeks! Now though you would never know, she loves it there. Her teachers always comment on how well behaved she is...seriously MY daughter well behaved LOL

#8 murkywaters

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 03:02 PM

I have 0 help here 99% of the time. I go outside if i need to make a quiet phone call or now that i have to talk to clients have a special spot down in the crawl space which is totallt insulated so they can all be playing music time and it would still be quiet lol
baby sitters are a goodd thing.
If you want this you will find a way.

#9 JeepMom

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 03:02 PM

Daycare may be what she needs...the structure and other playmates will probably be a good thing for her. My DD used to get horrible melt downs and nothing worked...even walking away made them worse or she just followed you around and kept going.

At first she will cry..that is normal...and it is hard to see and hear that...but trust me most workers are excellent at dealing with that and if in a larger setting you may find she likes one or another more and they dont have any problems with her.

The first time my DD had a melt down in daycare they were flabbergasted..but they dealt with it and all was good...they just never have seen her do that before, other then her morning crying when I left....to them she was always an angel...and it seemed like I got the devil at home.

But dont let her behavior detour you away from working.

#10 JavaBean

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 03:05 PM

Hope your interview went well and you passed through with flying colours!

#11 vals

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 03:44 PM

Well I did the interview. The lady asked if it was a good time and I jokingly sadi as long as you don't mind a giggling toddler in the background and she laughed and said no problem. She did act up a little and I ended up standing in the vestibule with a screaming cat which was pretty funny. The interview was stressful and a little tough, but went really well and I was just called back for a second interview so I guess I did well. I'm going to look into daycare because if I get this job there is three weeks training which means she will have to go somewhere in the day when daddy goes to work. It could be a good learning experience for both of them :) Thanks for the support.

#12 DivineMrsM

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 03:47 PM

Congrats!!! I hope you get it!

If not, can I have it?? hehe

#13 canadianangel

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 04:09 PM

CONGRATS!! I am currently in Amherstburg and also have DD that can be hard to handle and very stubborn but at any time you need a break feel free to come on out and if you need help on those three weeks let me know. Again congrats on the JOB!!!

#14 elainesj

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 05:19 PM

CONGRATS!!!

And to help you feel a little better...most kids adjust pretty well to daycare. It might be tough for the first bit, but they do get through it. Kim looked after Matthew when he was a toddler and he HATED being with anyone other than Mom and Dad. But I was in school and had to go to class 4 hours a day twice a week. After screaming the whole time on the first day, he promptly decided that he would go to sleep the moment he got there (although naptime was about 3-4 hours later on every other day) and wake up when I got back. And oddly enough, that was what he would do each and every time.

At drop off he would point upstairs and she would take him up to the playpen and he would hop in and go to sleep. Then he'd somehow sense when I'd be coming back and wake up 5-10 mins before I got back.

E

Edited by elainesj, 01 March 2011 - 05:19 PM.


#15 Kiana

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 07:52 PM

Good luck with the 2nd interview. What kind of position is it if you dont mind me asking?

#16 Danielle

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 09:37 PM

Awesome!!!! Good luck!

#17 vals

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 09:46 PM

Its a CSA position with a major airline. I'm actually getting nervously excited as I fill out my forms and prepare for Monday :) I also started calling a few daycares to do a tour and see what fits for dd.

#18 Jenn1980

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 09:51 PM

Good luck on the 2nd intervieww. I love daycare, and so did my kids. We are all bummed out they arent going anymore. I think a part of my youngest daughters meltdowns are contributed to not going anymore.

#19 single_mom

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 10:15 PM

:YAY good luck with everything and hope this helps you and dd out what with the changes and stuff. hope it all goes smoothly.

#20 Jill

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 10:55 PM

Good luck! This may very well be exactly what she needs too! Your child wouldn't be the first to present a challenge, and they have resources to help deal with it!

#21 terbear

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Posted 02 March 2011 - 07:50 AM

Best of luck on landing the job!

As for your dd and daycare don't let that hold you back. Most kids act differently at home vs daycare and I am sure she (and you) will handle it all just fine.

Again best of luck!

#22 LovingMommyof3

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Posted 02 March 2011 - 08:40 AM

put her in her bed with the door closed and find a quite room to do the interview!

#23 Jessica H

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Posted 07 March 2011 - 12:39 PM

Good luck today!!! I hope you get it :)

#24 Rox028802

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Posted 07 March 2011 - 06:18 PM

whats a CSA?

#25 scrappy survivor

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Posted 07 March 2011 - 06:20 PM

whats a CSA?


Customer Service Agent

How did it go today????

#26 momand2kidz

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Posted 08 March 2011 - 08:40 AM

CONGRATS!!!

And to help you feel a little better...most kids adjust pretty well to daycare. It might be tough for the first bit, but they do get through it. Kim looked after Matthew when he was a toddler and he HATED being with anyone other than Mom and Dad. But I was in school and had to go to class 4 hours a day twice a week. After screaming the whole time on the first day, he promptly decided that he would go to sleep the moment he got there (although naptime was about 3-4 hours later on every other day) and wake up when I got back. And oddly enough, that was what he would do each and every time.

At drop off he would point upstairs and she would take him up to the playpen and he would hop in and go to sleep. Then he'd somehow sense when I'd be coming back and wake up 5-10 mins before I got back.

E




That is the cutest thing I have ever heard!!(sorry to hijack)


Congrats and I hope everything works out for you Vals! Kids adjust way better than we give them credit for.

#27 LovingMommyof3

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Posted 08 March 2011 - 01:34 PM

awesome, i hope you get the job, i think you really need the you time with other adults and some separation!

#28 tabbs

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Posted 08 March 2011 - 07:05 PM

Good luck and I agree, you need some time for yourself and day cares are great!