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#1 DivineMrsM

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 08:47 PM

Do they freak you out? Cuz they REALLY skeeve me out. I'm so not looking forward to getting old. I just want to cry every time I walk in there.

#2 ~Tracy~

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 08:51 PM

been working in them since 1993 and although there is major freaky shit most health care works see/hear is spooks many out. Some areas at my work freak me out on nights.

#3 DivineMrsM

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 08:56 PM

It's the building. It's the people. The smells. The sounds. Oy vey. My MIL wants us to visit her at work (your work) but I just CANNOT do it. I feel too awful going there. Seeing the people who are like shells of their former selves....I can't do it. lol

#4 TecMommY

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 08:59 PM

Ya they creep me out too but I havent been in one since I was in high school and did some volunteer work there. I remember one old man telling me to get out of his room because I wont be around long and just volunteering for school, I felt really bad for him :( But I remember one older lady her name was Zoe, she was so nice, I always loved meeting with her :) This was always at the banwell nursing home

#5 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 09:24 PM

doesnt creep me out, just makes me sad to see how many people are abandoned by their so called family :(

#6 Jill

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 09:51 PM

It doesn't freak me out either, but it just proves how these types of places need a special type of person to work there and be comfortable.

I wouldn't want to work in one, as my first choice.. but I would if I needed to. It's just not my cup of tea.

#7 justsamma

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 09:52 PM

They freak me out too.

#8 Jenn1980

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 10:20 PM

doesnt creep me out, just makes me sad to see how many people are abandoned by their so called family :(


Asides from the smell, which i'm sure they can't help, i feel the same way. When i go visit my grandmother in her home ( She is at Huron Lodge) there are so many residents who have no one ever come visit them. Makes me sad. Now what makes me mad is the way the staff interact with the residents. Many of them are left wherever in a wheelchair to sit there all day. My grandmother sits in her room all day, i wish they took the time to encourage her to go out and do things. She hasn't been the same since my grandfather passed away.

#9 ~Tracy~

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 10:31 PM

It's the building. It's the people. The smells. The sounds. Oy vey. My MIL wants us to visit her at work (your work) but I just CANNOT do it. I feel too awful going there. Seeing the people who are like shells of their former selves....I can't do it. lol


At least we are in a very nice gov owned and operated one, unlike the private run down smelly ones. I don't think ours smells unless there is a dirty linen cart in the hallway. We also have one of the nicest ones around.

but essentially either way you cut these old ppl are waiting around for their time to meet their creator. That's very hard for many ppl. There are some families can't draw themselves to visit do to OCD of LTC facilities. Very real and some have a hard time with the concept their loved one is in a home and they may be incoherent and they can't deal or come to terms with it so they don't visit. Don't make it right or wrong just very sad....

#10 Kris

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 07:41 AM

I hate theone my grandmother is in. It is run down and dirty. It smells really bad and they leave her in her room in her wheelchair by the window all day. my dad is trying to have her moved but the wait list is huge

#11 terbear

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 08:22 AM

Do they freak you out? Cuz they REALLY skeeve me out. I'm so not looking forward to getting old. I just want to cry every time I walk in there.


OMG YES!! I honestly have a phobia about them!

#12 sherri

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 08:34 AM

i used to be really freaked out by them in fact i was almost terrified of them
then i worked in one for 3 years and they didnt scare me anymore

it just angered me and made me sad

luckily i got to work in recreation so i got to have a lot of fun with the seniors and i got to spend time with them and i spent most of my free time with the ones who didnt get any visitors
its a crying shame when family members do not come to visit and honestly i dont care what their excuse is
they are sure there to collect any insurance money or anything thats there when their family member passes away though

i have seen seniors in dry rot clothes because their family member refuses to spend money to buy them any its just disgusting
plus the seniors that dont get any visitors get less care then the seniors that have family there all the time

#13 Trea

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 09:07 AM

Thankfully my only experiences with Nursing homes has been short "stays" with family. Luckily we have always been able to take care of family at home until close to the end.

I don't understand dumping someone in a home and never visiting. It angers me to see.

All in all they do not freak me out. If I had time/energy I would volunteer in a home.

#14 Tired Mom

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 09:18 AM

I spent very little time in my Grandmas. But every week (she was ambulatory) she came to my house for a home cooked dinner or take out. My Dad was there daily, and took her to the bingo. I was actually discouraged by him from going there to see her, it would have been chaotic with the kids, and extra time with a sitter I couldn't really afford.

Being in them doesn't freak me out. But having to care for them (as a PSW worker) would. I don't have the stomach for it. Or the strength!

People at the mid-to-end stages of cancer is what I can't visit. After my Grandfather and Uncle (who I couldn't even stay to the ends with) I just have to hope none of my loved ones wind up with it. It was (very oddly) much easier being there for my Grandmother (multiple organ failure, leading to sepsis) but then again she was 100% at peace with it as soon as she found out. She didn't return out of a coma to grab my arm or ask me for a gun to help accelerate it.

We brought cupcakes to the home she was in on Christmas Eve as a RAK.

#15 terbear

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 09:48 AM

just wanted to throw out there it isn't always the best choice to have an older family member live with you. It really drains financially but more importantly emotional resources of a family.

My great grandmother lived with my family from the time I was 9 till I got married and my mom died. She came to live with us for a "few months" after a fall and stayed 16 years. She died at the age of 103. Through all that time she had all her mental ability but couldn't physically manage life on her own - hense she lived with us.

I can absolutely tell you it takes a toll on a family. So before anyone jumps to care for an aging relative please stop and think beyond "its the right thing to do" and really understand the amount of sacrifice it places on a family....especially since there are places that are designed to care for the elderly. All old age homes (whatever you call them) are not all horrible places. They are there for a reason and offer a very good service to families.

The phobia I spoke about in a previous post here centers all on my experience with having an elderly person living in my home for 16 years. I can't shake the creep me out feeling when I go to an old age home...seeing them in their wheel chairs with that look of "why do I have to live like this". It is the same look I saw daily and with my great grandma - even with all the love of family around her - she felt she was a burden. We didn't make her feel that way but she knew it wasn't natural to rely on your grandkid and their family to take care of you. She wanted nothing more than my mom and my family to live our lives not worry about her care. Not being able to go on family vacations without making thousands of arrangements for her care. Not being able to even go out for a dinner without making sure someone was there for her... She just wanted to die because she felt it wasn't fair to live and place a burden on those around her.....

it is that LOOK I see that creeps me out. I know that look all too well...and every single person in those old age homes have it..It is seeing the look that give me my phobia

I hope that makes sense

#16 Leanne

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 10:07 AM

I do not have a phobia of them. I found that was the best job i had. I vowed to take care of every resident as if they were my grandmother/grandfather. I do have to say- that not all patients have family to visit them. My mom's uncle just lost his wife about a year ago- he moved up north to stay in a nursing/retirement home to be closer to his dd- she past away a few months ago- so now he is in this home with no family around.

I definatlely have a soft spot in my heart for the ederly (and kids too)

#17 DivineMrsM

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 11:23 AM

just wanted to throw out there it isn't always the best choice to have an older family member live with you. It really drains financially but more importantly emotional resources of a family.

My great grandmother lived with my family from the time I was 9 till I got married and my mom died. She came to live with us for a "few months" after a fall and stayed 16 years. She died at the age of 103. Through all that time she had all her mental ability but couldn't physically manage life on her own - hense she lived with us.

I can absolutely tell you it takes a toll on a family. So before anyone jumps to care for an aging relative please stop and think beyond "its the right thing to do" and really understand the amount of sacrifice it places on a family....especially since there are places that are designed to care for the elderly. All old age homes (whatever you call them) are not all horrible places. They are there for a reason and offer a very good service to families.

The phobia I spoke about in a previous post here centers all on my experience with having an elderly person living in my home for 16 years. I can't shake the creep me out feeling when I go to an old age home...seeing them in their wheel chairs with that look of "why do I have to live like this". It is the same look I saw daily and with my great grandma - even with all the love of family around her - she felt she was a burden. We didn't make her feel that way but she knew it wasn't natural to rely on your grandkid and their family to take care of you. She wanted nothing more than my mom and my family to live our lives not worry about her care. Not being able to go on family vacations without making thousands of arrangements for her care. Not being able to even go out for a dinner without making sure someone was there for her... She just wanted to die because she felt it wasn't fair to live and place a burden on those around her.....

it is that LOOK I see that creeps me out. I know that look all too well...and every single person in those old age homes have it..It is seeing the look that give me my phobia

I hope that makes sense


THAT is what I am talking about. And the way the workers talk to the seniors like they are children. It's like they are all shells. They line up in the hallways in their wheelchairs, just so that they don't have to be in their bed all day long. It just seems like a horrible life.

My grandparents moved in with my aunt and uncle and it's such a bad idea. While I can't stand nursing homes, the one my MIL works at is a beautiful one. I beleive there are floors in there that are more like retirement housing, than nursing. That's where my grandparents should be.

#18 justsamma

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 11:33 AM

i hate them.
my mom is a PSW, had been for 10+ years, works in a really nice care home, and has always said that if we ever tried or had to put her in a home she would kill herself first.

#19 sherri

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 12:15 PM

It's like they are all shells. They line up in the hallways in their wheelchairs, just so that they don't have to be in their bed all day long. It just seems like a horrible life.



it IS a horrible life
imagine knowing that you are dying there
there is no hope for you once you are in a nursing home
plus imagine you cannot go to the bathroom when you want to you cannot eat if you are hungry you have to eat at certain times when you are told too
you cannot sleep in if you are tired
and to top it all off for some of them their family whom they have cared for their entire lives refuse to visit them

ya you would have that look too

#20 DivineMrsM

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 12:18 PM

Ugh. It's awful. I so don't want to get old.

#21 Jill

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 12:38 PM

Not all people at a nursing home cannot do anything for themselves. Some of them walk, either with or without assistance and can go to the washroom whenever they want..

You can also have your own snacks, assuming you are of sound enough mind to know what to do with the food. lol You can sleep whenever you want..lol

I don't know, there seem to be SOME misconceptions about long term care facilities, but all of it is true for some. Not all, though. They also strive to make it more social for them, more stuff to do so they are kept entertained, etc.

ETA: I did my LTC placement at Extendicare Tecumseh. If you stick to the nice ones, you wont see as much depressing stuff. The older, more run down ones just look a lot worse to start with. Extendicare is super nice and well decorated, bright, etc. They plan stuff for them daily. They don't just sit around all day doing nothing waiting to die!! Some do, but I wouldn't say it's the norm.. not in the nicer places, anyway. I don't know about the others so much.

Edited by ~Jill~, 08 June 2011 - 12:40 PM.


#22 JavaBean

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 01:47 PM

I find them sad but anyone I've known and visited in one was a loved one who eventually passed on. I would challenge you, Dana, to take the kids. When we had toddlers, we have a few elderly grandparents/ great grandparents living in them and I quickly got over the sadness that came on watching the older folks LOVE my kids. Little people bring an energy in that peps everyone up! Sure, there's a few who are cranky but for the most part, they are a great treat and break to the mundane day to day that happens there. :)

I COMPLETELY disagree with you, Jen, about people abandoning their relatives there. Sorry! Both sides of our families have had members with Alzheimer's. Nobody "wanted" to send their parent into a home. Unfortunately, the further along in the disease they get, the more and more attention they need and deserve. If an adult child is still working, their ill, elderly parent can become the same level of neediness as a toddler and not just with Alzheimer's either. I'm sure there are some people who do just drop the relative and never return but I think that is the minority and definitely not the majority. Most families have to take a lot of time, research and thought to make that decision.

#23 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 02:36 PM

I find them sad but anyone I've known and visited in one was a loved one who eventually passed on. I would challenge you, Dana, to take the kids. When we had toddlers, we have a few elderly grandparents/ great grandparents living in them and I quickly got over the sadness that came on watching the older folks LOVE my kids. Little people bring an energy in that peps everyone up! Sure, there's a few who are cranky but for the most part, they are a great treat and break to the mundane day to day that happens there. :)

I COMPLETELY disagree with you, Jen, about people abandoning their relatives there. Sorry! Both sides of our families have had members with Alzheimer's. Nobody "wanted" to send their parent into a home. Unfortunately, the further along in the disease they get, the more and more attention they need and deserve. If an adult child is still working, their ill, elderly parent can become the same level of neediness as a toddler and not just with Alzheimer's either. I'm sure there are some people who do just drop the relative and never return but I think that is the minority and definitely not the majority. Most families have to take a lot of time, research and thought to make that decision.


I was more refering to how many patients (or whatever you want to call them) have "families" that NEVER go visit. and I mean NEVER. It happens where I work too. Trust me, I have worked in this field for the last 10 years. MAYBE 10% of everyone in care have regular active families. If/when my grandparents ever go into a home, I will be there to visit, at least once a week. There is NOTHING in my life that will ever make me "too busy" to not get there. My BFF in Sarnia does the same with her grandparents, even though she has a young family, 2 jobs, a dog and other stuff going on, she always makes time for her grandparents. Thats the way it should be, but it's really not.

#24 Tired Mom

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 02:46 PM

Not all of the people there have had kids either. Some who did have children outlived them. The children may have moved out of province/country long before the person became elderly.

#25 Lasergirl

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 02:58 PM

I think it really makes a difference where they are placed. I have seen a few that were gorgeous. And I really think that it depends on the person- there are those who's family never visit them when they are in their own home- and then they have no one providing basic needs at all for them as well as no option for socialization if they choose.
In an ideal world we would all take our parents in when the time comes, but that is not always realistic.
I think for myself, I'd rather be in a home where I can be with others if I chose instead of staring at 4 walls all day by myself
Living with Alzheimers is a far worse fate than spending my end days in a home IMO

#26 erinsboys

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 08:39 PM

I have been a nurse in long term care for 13 years. I don't know what homes you guys have visited but I assure you they are NOT all like that. The PSW's work their buts off and we love our resident's like family. It makes me really sad to think that so many of you think that long term care facilities provide such a poor quality of life. I know we make a difference and I love what I do.

#27 Jill

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 09:49 PM

I have been a nurse in long term care for 13 years. I don't know what homes you guys have visited but I assure you they are NOT all like that. The PSW's work their buts off and we love our resident's like family. It makes me really sad to think that so many of you think that long term care facilities provide such a poor quality of life. I know we make a difference and I love what I do.


I agree! I have only really been in one, to know the ins and outs, but I used to think it would be cool to live there..lol Not right now, but it wouldn't be the worst stuation down the road!

#28 Outnumbered

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 10:44 PM

My grandmother was in a couple that I found really nice. Each floor had a common area with picture windows looking over the water, a big-screen TV, and fresh fruit and pastries set out with coffee and tea all day. After that home she moved to a more permanent one that had some nice courtyards with gardens, and there were display cases in front of every room for the residents to display personal mementos and pictures (I think this helped some residents with dementia find their rooms). The staff was always lovely and very warm.

Nursing homes don't skeeve me out - but getting old and losing all my physical and mental faculties definitely does.

#29 ~Tracy~

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 11:08 PM

comparing nursing homes is like comparing apples and oranges.

#30 DivineMrsM

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Posted 09 June 2011 - 06:55 AM

I'm not really freaked out by the HOME itself. It's the people in it...

#31 Lasergirl

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Posted 09 June 2011 - 07:38 AM

LOL- well by the time you need to go to a home, you will BE one of those people

#32 DivineMrsM

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Posted 09 June 2011 - 11:49 AM

LOL- well by the time you need to go to a home, you will BE one of those people



THAT'S what I'm terrified of!! lol

#33 JavaBean

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Posted 09 June 2011 - 11:59 AM

Sittin' in your wheelchair in your pj pants and crocks........

#34 DivineMrsM

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Posted 09 June 2011 - 12:04 PM

Sittin' in your wheelchair in your pj pants and crocks........



At least I won't be mall walking in them! lol

#35 Lasergirl

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Posted 09 June 2011 - 12:22 PM

I will kick your wheelchair over if you try to sit by me in crocs