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are there any CAS workers on here????


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#1 scrappy survivor

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 09:17 PM

If you do not want to disclose yourself I understnad that but I ahve a ? I would like to ask of a worker & even if you want to message me as anon that would be fine too.

THanks

#2 Jen K

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 09:22 PM

Anon does not have the ability to use messenger.
Not sure if you want to post your question, and allow anyone to log in as anon to answer it, under those circumstances, I would certainly approve the post.

#3 Hunnybunches

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 09:27 PM

My sister is a cas worker,but I dont know if you can ask her directly..if no one on here pipes in,maybe you can ask via me?

#4 scrappy survivor

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 09:41 PM

To me it is pretty stupid really I ahve no issue posting it here....

I was out today & when I got home I got a call from CAS that they had been called my my son's school he is in S/K. They went out to interview him. Apparently he told the school we sent him to bed with no dinner. When she interivewed him he siad no he said dessert not dinner. They misunderstood. We have NEVER EVER sent him to bed with no dinner no dessert yes but not no dinner. Anyway she said it is a misunderstanding but she needs me to sign a form & allow her to inform the school that it was a misunderstnading which I have no issue with & then she could close the case. I will gladly do that no problem. She also said that normally they ahve to interview all the other children in the home when there is a report but becuase it was a misunderstanding she does not feel the need to do that & maybe she could just observe. We this I do have an issue with. Not because of any concerns but becuase my other children already ahve issues with CAS becuase of their past involment with them for my son. Even children's first has stated that they have animosity over having had to be interviewed by CAS in the past do to things relating to him & his biomom. So my question is can I refuse to let them observe or will this prevent them from closing the case.

Oh & everyone please make sure you feed your kids dessert from now on or it might get you in trouble. lol ;)

#5 Kris

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 09:46 PM

If they have no real reason to come out than I think you should be able to deny them coming to observe. I am not totally sure, I am in social work but not specifically CAS. My instructor was a CAS worker for many years though so if you dont get your answer I could ask her for you

#6 scrappy survivor

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:16 PM

Lisa can you ask your sis please??? I ahve to call them back tomorrow. I just dont' want a new rift betweent he kdis now that it is finally healing.

#7 Jen K

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:17 PM

WOW!!

I am glad you are so understanding. If they are closing the file because it was an obvious misunderstanding, then why the need to even observe? That doesnt make sense to me.
And I get that teachers are obligated to report suspected cases, but this seems a bit extreme.

#8 Hunnybunches

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:31 PM

I sent my sister an email jodi...and am waiting for her response.totally ridiculous!!!!
I was sent to bed without dinner umpteen times as a kid,because I refused to eat it,and my grandmother even re-served it to me the next day as breakfast to prove a point...geesh cas wouldve had a field day at my grandmothers house...lol

so silly!!!!

#9 Jen K

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:37 PM

I sent my sister an email jodi...and am waiting for her response.totally ridiculous!!!!
I was sent to bed without dinner umpteen times as a kid,because I refused to eat it,and my grandmother even re-served it to me the next day as breakfast to prove a point...geesh cas wouldve had a field day at my grandmothers house...lol

so silly!!!!

You are right Lisa, it was a standard threat or punishment 40 years ago lol..

#10 scrappy survivor

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:41 PM

OH I am not totally understanding of this at all. I plan a visit to the school to find out why the heck CAS was called & did the principal even ask some ?'s to confirm the suspicions before a call was made. I get that it is not normal protocol as it is not their job to determine if there is abuse or neglect only to report.... HOWEVER when they know there are isssues with the child that cause issues like this I would think some minimal investigating could & should be done on school level before an escalation like this!im dinner Homeschooling is certainly looking better & better! I mean really??? What if I did nto serve him dinner??? What if he chose not to eat what was served so I sent him to bed without dinner that night. Can you honestly tell me CAS has nothing better to do than this??? I think it is stupid & pathetic but I really have no choice but to deal with the issue at this point. The sad thing is my odd heard the message & immediately looked at me & said: " NO WAY mom NO WAY am I dealing with them again & if they come to the school to see me I am going to refuse to even speak with them. I mean it mom I am NOT doing this again" Sooooooo forcing the issue will only create resentment between the siblings again. I don't want to create that kind of an issue. I wish I had his psych eval results already... I don't get them until Monday. :( UGGHUGHGGUGHGUGHGH

All this on a night I find out my niece needs a biopsy just not a good day!

thanks Lisa!

#11 mrs_m_2000

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 11:39 PM

In our defense...as teachers, we have a duty to report...no investigation shoudl be done, because if we delay reporting suspected abuse, and the child is abused before we report it, we are liable. It is what we are told every year, many times a year....protocol. It is unfortunate in your case, but i have seen some kids by the time they get to me (and once they are 16 or over, we cannot report, they must be encouraged to report to police, unless there is a minor in the home)...and they have had abuse and no one has reported it!! So, the better safe than sorry adage has to stand here...

I hope you resolve everything, but i would make sure i went through the channels to have the best outcome (i.e. follow the protocol and jump through the hoops to get it closed, then deal with the "other" stuff!!)

S

#12 scrappy survivor

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 12:07 AM

I get what you are saying but I do NOT agree that it is in the kids best interests to create a rift between them AGAIN after it has just started to finally heal. So it is not that easy to say just deal with the OTHER stuff later as it can be permenently dmaging & this has been told to us by their social worker.

AS for the school.... I am not overly upset with them. Frustrated that they don't look at the whole picture becuase if they don't we could be dealing with this constantly forever in which case we would have to pull him and home school him because we not going to do wthis over & over again. I get that it has to be reported if there is an issue but seriously a s/k kids says he misses dinner one night warrents a call to CAS?? I think all would ahve better things to do with their time. I don't think this is a crisis to call CAS over. jmho

#13 emmsmama

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 12:20 AM

That's crazy. I could see if he said he hadn't been fed supper for a couple days, but even if he didn't have supper one night, there could be soooo many reasons for it that to call CAS over not having supper (I know you did feed him supper, but they were with the understanding he didn't have supper) one night is a bit much, especially when there are no other signs of abuse or neglect. You'd think the teacher would have probed a bit further before calling CAS, like being sure he said he didn't get supper, or asking if he often doesn't have supper.

#14 momand2kidz

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 08:16 AM

I am so sorry this happened to your family Jodi. I understand both sides, as I know you do too BUT what bothers me is that you basically lost your right as a parent to enforce any type of rules in your own home without CAS becoming your new big brother. The other day at school my ds decided to have a "snack" before eating his lunch. The lunch monitor told him no. He said but "there is no other food in my lunch bag". Thank the Lord that she didn't over react and call CAS on me because most of his food had fallen out of his lunch bag and into his backpack :wacko: I hope you and your family can move forward.

#15 Jill

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 08:22 AM

I think it's more the idea that he would be punished by denying food. Denying a basic human needs, even if it's just the once, IMO would be seen as abusive behavior. I totally get what you actually did, and there is obviously no issue with denying him dessert if he's been misbehaving and wont listen, etc.

My sister also works in the schools and she has to make these calls as well. She hates doing it, but you never ever second guess what a child says, even if it sounds farfetched. If there is an accusation that could be seen as abuse, it must be explore for the welfare of the child. It doesn't really matter if there is history with CAS or not. She has a few parents who hate her, and what her nowhere near their children. It's really not her fault, she is only protecting the kids. If it were an outsider being accused, those parents would be furious if it wasn't addressed.

I agree with just going through the motions. Letting them do what they need to do and get the information they are looking for, this way they can close this case easily. You know there is no grounds for this, they will know right away as well, IMO.0

#16 Jen K

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 08:23 AM

That's crazy. I could see if he said he hadn't been fed supper for a couple days, but even if he didn't have supper one night, there could be soooo many reasons for it that to call CAS over not having supper (I know you did feed him supper, but they were with the understanding he didn't have supper) one night is a bit much, especially when there are no other signs of abuse or neglect. You'd think the teacher would have probed a bit further before calling CAS, like being sure he said he didn't get supper, or asking if he often doesn't have supper.



I am so sorry this happened to your family Jodi. I understand both sides, as I know you do too BUT what bothers me is that you basically lost your right as a parent to enforce any type of rules in your own home without CAS becoming your new big brother. The other day at school my ds decided to have a "snack" before eating his lunch. The lunch monitor told him no. He said but "there is no other food in my lunch bag". Thank the Lord that she didn't over react and call CAS on me because most of his food had fallen out of his lunch bag and into his backpack :wacko: I hope you and your family can move forward.


And this is the type of thing that bothers me about this. I totally understand that yes its not up to the teachers to start their own investigation, but I do believe they should have validated with the child so that they got the full story. A simple, what do you mean you didng get any dinner? even said in a friendly way, may have resulted in the boy saying, I didnt like my dinner so I didnt get desert or something along that lines. I feel that they should in fact double check what they are hearing esepcially coming from children who can be so literal at times ( like in momand2kidz example where her son said there is no food in his bag , technically there wasnt, but that didnt mean he didnt have more food )
I think it causes a strain, could you imagine if this happenned in February? Everytime I had to go to the school, I would feel like the teacher was looking at me like I was a child abuser. Yes, suspected cases need to be called in, but really the teacher should be asking for clarification, it could have been that the child fell asleep before eating.

#17 creative mama

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 08:33 AM

I sent my kid to bed without dinner last night and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. He liked his dinner, but refused to eat it. Sorry, I rule this roost, not you my dear.

My house rules:

1. Try it. If it's new and you try it but don't like it, I'll make you something else. It's not going to be a full new meal, but you'll eat.
2. If you refuse to try it or eat it, it goes into the fridge. Don't ask me for dessert, don't ask me for anything else to eat. If you're hungry you'll eat what was made for dinner. I'm not a short order cook.
3. If you're hungry and you refuse to eat dinner, then you go to bed without dinner.

At my son's age (4) he's pushing boundaries. He's seeing where he fits in the world. And it's damn well time that parents step up to the goddamn plate and be parents because it's the right thing for their kids instead of doing (insert whatever you want here) because they're afraid that someone is going to call CAS.

I understand that teachers and the school would have to be on the lookout for suspected abuse, but really? Calling CAS because my kid went to bed without dinner? Is your child emaciated? Is he complaining that he's hungry today? Common sense needs to be combined with their duty to protect children. Calling CAS because a 4 year old says they went to bed without dinner or a shoe was thrown at them? They're teachers. They must know that kids at that age are prone to stories or stating things in the wrong way, etc. You wouldn't have to do an interview to find out that your kid had no dessert instead of no dinner.

To me, bringing CAS in to families like this has two problems: it's using up resources that are needed elsewhere and like any other report of abuse, it's not something that just goes away.

#18 nainai0510

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 08:58 AM

I sent my kid to bed without dinner last night and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. He liked his dinner, but refused to eat it. Sorry, I rule this roost, not you my dear.

My house rules:

1. Try it. If it's new and you try it but don't like it, I'll make you something else. It's not going to be a full new meal, but you'll eat.
2. If you refuse to try it or eat it, it goes into the fridge. Don't ask me for dessert, don't ask me for anything else to eat. If you're hungry you'll eat what was made for dinner. I'm not a short order cook.
3. If you're hungry and you refuse to eat dinner, then you go to bed without dinner.

At my son's age (4) he's pushing boundaries. He's seeing where he fits in the world. And it's damn well time that parents step up to the goddamn plate and be parents because it's the right thing for their kids instead of doing (insert whatever you want here) because they're afraid that someone is going to call CAS.

I understand that teachers and the school would have to be on the lookout for suspected abuse, but really? Calling CAS because my kid went to bed without dinner? Is your child emaciated? Is he complaining that he's hungry today? Common sense needs to be combined with their duty to protect children. Calling CAS because a 4 year old says they went to bed without dinner or a shoe was thrown at them? They're teachers. They must know that kids at that age are prone to stories or stating things in the wrong way, etc. You wouldn't have to do an interview to find out that your kid had no dessert instead of no dinner.

To me, bringing CAS in to families like this has two problems: it's using up resources that are needed elsewhere and like any other report of abuse, it's not something that just goes away.



100% Agree with this. Those are many of the same house rules as ours, the only difference is:
1) You must try everything twice. If you don't like it the second time, you don't have to eat it (then I serve it again at the next meal lol)
2) When your full, you must take the number of bites for the age that you are (eg: ds is 5 yrs, so he has to take 5 more bites).
3) And if you refuse to eat all together, you get nothing for the rest of the night other then the meal you've refused.

I don't play nicely with children who think they're in control :)

#19 creative mama

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 09:01 AM

I never take anything off the menu - taste buds change so much ... so there are things that I know my son doesn't like (like pork and beans) that I'll bring out every month for him to try again. For something like this, if I know he doesn't like it, then all he has to do is try one bite.

I try to get him to take a few extra bites too. One day I told him 10 mores bites ... which worked perfectly - that finished the meatballs on his plate.

#20 Lasergirl

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 10:08 AM

Good Lord-- I would be fuming
Sorry you have to deal with this Jodi

#21 PookersMom

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 10:47 AM

In our defense...as teachers, we have a duty to report...no investigation shoudl be done, because if we delay reporting suspected abuse, and the child is abused before we report it, we are liable. It is what we are told every year, many times a year....protocol. It is unfortunate in your case, but i have seen some kids by the time they get to me (and once they are 16 or over, we cannot report, they must be encouraged to report to police, unless there is a minor in the home)...and they have had abuse and no one has reported it!! So, the better safe than sorry adage has to stand here...

I hope you resolve everything, but i would make sure i went through the channels to have the best outcome (i.e. follow the protocol and jump through the hoops to get it closed, then deal with the "other" stuff!!)

S



I get that teachers have a duty...heck all of a society has a duty to report child abuse BUT how the heck is a child not having one dinner abuse in any form? Honestly, that is ridiculous and I would be livid! AND before a report is made, some sort of questioning, investigating, etc should be done...that is a duty of teachers too...can you imagine all the accusations that are made if they reported every single thing that a child said without questioning further. ridiculous!!!

#22 mrs_m_2000

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 01:18 PM


In our defense...as teachers, we have a duty to report...no investigation shoudl be done, because if we delay reporting suspected abuse, and the child is abused before we report it, we are liable. It is what we are told every year, many times a year....protocol. It is unfortunate in your case, but i have seen some kids by the time they get to me (and once they are 16 or over, we cannot report, they must be encouraged to report to police, unless there is a minor in the home)...and they have had abuse and no one has reported it!! So, the better safe than sorry adage has to stand here...

I hope you resolve everything, but i would make sure i went through the channels to have the best outcome (i.e. follow the protocol and jump through the hoops to get it closed, then deal with the "other" stuff!!)

S



I get that teachers have a duty...heck all of a society has a duty to report child abuse BUT how the heck is a child not having one dinner abuse in any form? Honestly, that is ridiculous and I would be livid! AND before a report is made, some sort of questioning, investigating, etc should be done...that is a duty of teachers too...can you imagine all the accusations that are made if they reported every single thing that a child said without questioning further. ridiculous!!!

I'm not saying i would call, just for the record...but we are encouraged to call and ask questions to see if it is warranted as well. I agree that there should have been clarification as well...all of you have valid points. That being said, if the teacher identified themselves even just asking a question, CAS must investigate...so even if the teacher was just asking a quesiton (or whoever it was that called!!) and she said who she was, they have to look into it. Sounds like there is a lot at play, and I am truly, truly sorry you had to go through this Jodi, especially after all the crap you little one has gone through. Not a good situation at all. I guarantee you after this, there will be discussion among teachers and administrators, and if nothing else, will clarify more in which cases there should be reports made or not (not that i am saying either way in this case!!! I can't ethically)

Hope it all is resolved quickly...you know, someone on the street or your neighbour could call just as easy and not even say it was them, or say it was the school, etc...hopefully you get to the bottom of this with as little damage as possible...

Take care,
S

#23 momand2kidz

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 01:44 PM


That's crazy. I could see if he said he hadn't been fed supper for a couple days, but even if he didn't have supper one night, there could be soooo many reasons for it that to call CAS over not having supper (I know you did feed him supper, but they were with the understanding he didn't have supper) one night is a bit much, especially when there are no other signs of abuse or neglect. You'd think the teacher would have probed a bit further before calling CAS, like being sure he said he didn't get supper, or asking if he often doesn't have supper.



I am so sorry this happened to your family Jodi. I understand both sides, as I know you do too BUT what bothers me is that you basically lost your right as a parent to enforce any type of rules in your own home without CAS becoming your new big brother. The other day at school my ds decided to have a "snack" before eating his lunch. The lunch monitor told him no. He said but "there is no other food in my lunch bag". Thank the Lord that she didn't over react and call CAS on me because most of his food had fallen out of his lunch bag and into his backpack :wacko: I hope you and your family can move forward.


And this is the type of thing that bothers me about this. I totally understand that yes its not up to the teachers to start their own investigation, but I do believe they should have validated with the child so that they got the full story. A simple, what do you mean you didng get any dinner? even said in a friendly way, may have resulted in the boy saying, I didnt like my dinner so I didnt get desert or something along that lines. I feel that they should in fact double check what they are hearing esepcially coming from children who can be so literal at times ( like in momand2kidz example where her son said there is no food in his bag , technically there wasnt, but that didnt mean he didnt have more food )
I think it causes a strain, could you imagine if this happenned in February? Everytime I had to go to the school, I would feel like the teacher was looking at me like I was a child abuser. Yes, suspected cases need to be called in, but really the teacher should be asking for clarification, it could have been that the child fell asleep before eating.



I 1000% agree and couldn't have said it any better myself. You can get alot of information from a child, good and bad, alot of the time just with your approach.If after he repeated himself and the story remained the same, or changed or got worse then perhaps the teacher could have/should have investigated it further(and I don't mean running and calling CAS)because chances are he would have clarified himself with the right approach.I think it was all a BIG misunderstanding that went entirely too far.IMO

#24 cbarker78

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 02:06 PM

I sent my kid to bed without dinner last night and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. He liked his dinner, but refused to eat it. Sorry, I rule this roost, not you my dear.

My house rules:

1. Try it. If it's new and you try it but don't like it, I'll make you something else. It's not going to be a full new meal, but you'll eat.
2. If you refuse to try it or eat it, it goes into the fridge. Don't ask me for dessert, don't ask me for anything else to eat. If you're hungry you'll eat what was made for dinner. I'm not a short order cook.
3. If you're hungry and you refuse to eat dinner, then you go to bed without dinner.

At my son's age (4) he's pushing boundaries. He's seeing where he fits in the world. And it's damn well time that parents step up to the goddamn plate and be parents because it's the right thing for their kids instead of doing (insert whatever you want here) because they're afraid that someone is going to call CAS.

I understand that teachers and the school would have to be on the lookout for suspected abuse, but really? Calling CAS because my kid went to bed without dinner? Is your child emaciated? Is he complaining that he's hungry today? Common sense needs to be combined with their duty to protect children. Calling CAS because a 4 year old says they went to bed without dinner or a shoe was thrown at them? They're teachers. They must know that kids at that age are prone to stories or stating things in the wrong way, etc. You wouldn't have to do an interview to find out that your kid had no dessert instead of no dinner.

To me, bringing CAS in to families like this has two problems: it's using up resources that are needed elsewhere and like any other report of abuse, it's not something that just goes away.



^EXACTLY!!!!!

My kids would probably make an outsider's hair stand on end with some of their stories!! But they're just that - stories!! I've had quite the time teaching them what's appropriate inside the home and outside the home :) LOL!! ((youngest one seems to be on a real kick lately to show anyone who will listen her "boobies" - she's just 'really' discovered them herself...)) LMAO!!!

#25 bcnap

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 04:29 PM

sorry Jodi they are being like that, I havent worked there in years ( since Sid B left) and not exactly sure the policy for that, but sounds ridiculous unless they suspect other issues... or thats how it used to be...

#26 Hunnybunches

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 05:03 PM

Jodi...Im sorry my sister hasnt responded to me...she uses her mobile to check her fb,and I dont think can see the message?They have wicked storms out here way...so who knows?
Anyhoo..I do think I know what she will say.You arent obligated to let them come,but it may start another can of worms there if you dont.Damned if you do....you know the rest.Hopefully she will message a response

#27 Rebekah

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 09:20 PM

Unfortunately Jodie, Hunnybunches is right.
It is in your best interests to comply to the worker's request.
Be sweet as pie and all should be ok with closing the case.

As pp's have said, there's a duty to report and basically there's
also a duty to investigate a report. Withholding food would be grounds to make a report.
I get there was a misunderstanding and the caseworker confirmed that
with your child, but she also needs to confirm his word with what she
sees happening in the household.

From the caseworker's perspective, kids love their parents and may
recant things to protect. So she's just covering all the base's here.
There's obviously no ill will from her part from what I can tell.

:bighug

Edited by Rebekah, 22 June 2011 - 09:25 PM.


#28 scrappy survivor

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 09:35 PM

Clarification on a few things....

I did talk to the school today. I am more then satisfied with their answers. I understand the obligation to report I understand the penalties for not reporting & I have explained my sons issues & feel that if something like this were to come up in the future they would ensure that he is clear on what he is saying. It seems there was some attempt to do that this time though no specifics were given & it was not by the principal. All in all the school was doing their job as frustrating as that is for us it is about what is best in protecting the kids. I would want them to protect my kids if there was a need so I cna't be upset with them for attempting to do so when my son was not clear enough or was making claims.

As for CAS they ahve not returned my calls it seems the worker is out today. I did speak with a worker that I know who did state there may be some leeway with the kids but that it is normal protocol & it is up to the worker.

Thanks for all the support and replies. I am sure this will all be over with in a matter of days I am just frustrated for my kids more then anything as I don't want to ruin what they ahve been building on in the last several months. If it was just us I franly could care less I ahve nothing to hide. I mean seriously. We are involved with speech therapy, occupational therapy, a psychologist, children's first, if I was hiding somehting I would be avoiding those agencies not using them to his advantage. Not to mention, swimming, soccer, beavers, karate, & church activities. So I am not nor was I ever concerned with a visit just wanted to avoid at least my oldest child from it as I know the rift it can create.


Thanks again everyone!