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At what age would you expect your child to vomit in the toilet


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#36 Tired Mom

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 02:58 PM

Abuse? Really?

At 10 years old will you still clean up their every spill? I know some posters have expressed that intent has a role to play in it, but I take intent right out of the reasoning. It's not to punish in the least. At ten years old they can do more for themselves. If they are sick I will adminster medications, take steps to make them comfortable, make them easy to digest food and snacks, and provide comfort. But no I will not clean the vomit off the floor or out of bedding. That is something you have to do when they are younger, but they can do it as they get older.

I'm floored that you call that abuse. That is so far out of line it's not funny.

#37 terbear

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 03:21 PM

If someone is so sick - at whatever age- that they need to throw up all over the place - I likely would have enough empathy for them to either help clean it or clean it up for them (even an adult). Would I like doing it?!?! NO!!! but out of empathy alone I would I be there for the person, especially one I love.

All bets off of course if it is self induced drinking or whatever that cause it...then you are on your own! BUT genuinely sick..ya I have empathy and would not make a sick child clean up their mess while they are sick and since waiting for them to get better to clean it themselves isn't an option..again I would do it.

#38 DivineMrsM

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 03:22 PM

Abuse? Really?

At 10 years old will you still clean up their every spill? I know some posters have expressed that intent has a role to play in it, but I take intent right out of the reasoning. It's not to punish in the least. At ten years old they can do more for themselves. If they are sick I will adminster medications, take steps to make them comfortable, make them easy to digest food and snacks, and provide comfort. But no I will not clean the vomit off the floor or out of bedding. That is something you have to do when they are younger, but they can do it as they get older.

I'm floored that you call that abuse. That is so far out of line it's not funny.



Having a child clean up their spilled juice and having a child clean up their own vomit are two totally separate things!! The fact that you compare the two is insane to me.

It is our job as mothers and caregivers to take care of our children. If you child is sick, how can you possibly make them clean up vomit?? I would puke cleaning it if I wasn't sick! So isn't it counter-productive to make a sick child clean up vomit that will likely make her puke again?

Abuse, yes, I stand by that. There are many things I would and do make my kids do. But making a sick child clean up their own vomit is abusive, IMO.

That just boggles my mind that anyone thinks that that is okay.

#39 contentlife

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 03:40 PM

I would clean up my friends or husbands vomit and I would do no less for my child. Just something I would automatically do because I love them.

#40 scrappy survivor

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 05:35 PM

By TWO all of my kids could puke in a bowl.... I never game them a bucket bucket to puke in becuase it won't sit on their lap so here is is always a big huge bowl. We buy them at the $ store & they are used for nothing but vomiting. They can be left at the hospital or anywhere they need to be and I don't care. I would not make my child clean up their own vomit. I don't hink it is very empathetic or compassionate.

#41 JavaBean

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 06:02 PM

I honestly wonder what the responses would have been if the scenario was that the OP had vomitted and her dh didn't clean it up. IMHO, the guy would have been eaten alive on this board! Why shouldn't our children receive the same treatment that we expect to receive?! I appreciate the responses, though. It makes me so grateful for the love I'm surrounded by in my own life. <3

#42 Jen K

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 06:04 PM

I believe I read that she was given a bucket and still did not puke in the bucket. I don't know the kid so obviously I can't say for certain, but for myself, if someone handed me a bucket and I chose to puke on the floor, it is out of laziness. If you have time to sit and watch tv and do other things you can certainly bend over and pick up a bucket to puke in.

I didnt explain it fully.
I gave her something to throw up in. She was sleeping downstairs with her sister, so on the pull out couch, I told her to prop herself up and watch tv for abit to see if she felt any better. Once she realized she was going to be sick, she got off the couch, and made an attempt to get to the bathroom and threw up all over the floor a few feet away from the couch. The puke pucket was on the coffee table. I was frustrated because she misjudged the time she had to get to the bathroom and thought at ten she should be able to get there on time, especially since had been sick two other times in the last few weeks. She did not puke out of laziness.
After reading alot of the replies on here, I realize now that people have different sensitivy to when/how they feel the need to vomit.

Of course I cleaned it up ( grumbling ) because I love her. My question was just simply am I expecting too much out of her by expecting her to be able to make it to the toilet. My lesson here is that now I need to stress the importance of keeping the bucket with her all the way to the bathroom.

#43 Jen K

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 06:06 PM

I honestly wonder what the responses would have been if the scenario was that the OP had vomitted and her dh didn't clean it up. IMHO, the guy would have been eaten alive on this board! Why shouldn't our children receive the same treatment that we expect to receive?! I appreciate the responses, though. It makes me so grateful for the love I'm surrounded by in my own life. <3

Interesting perspective.. Maybe a good top for HD?

Personally I wouldnt expect nor ask dh to clean up my own puke. Unless I was so bedridden and couldnt physically clean it up. And to be totally honest, I would have a very hard time cleaning up an adults vomit, husband , friend or whatever. Doesnt mean I dont love my friends, but its just very hard for me, and again it would be different if that friend or relative was extremely sick and not capable ( of cousre I would never leave someone in it if they werent capable of cleaning it up)

#44 DivineMrsM

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 06:17 PM


I believe I read that she was given a bucket and still did not puke in the bucket. I don't know the kid so obviously I can't say for certain, but for myself, if someone handed me a bucket and I chose to puke on the floor, it is out of laziness. If you have time to sit and watch tv and do other things you can certainly bend over and pick up a bucket to puke in.

I didnt explain it fully.
I gave her something to throw up in. She was sleeping downstairs with her sister, so on the pull out couch, I told her to prop herself up and watch tv for abit to see if she felt any better. Once she realized she was going to be sick, she got off the couch, and made an attempt to get to the bathroom and threw up all over the floor a few feet away from the couch. The puke pucket was on the coffee table. I was frustrated because she misjudged the time she had to get to the bathroom and thought at ten she should be able to get there on time, especially since had been sick two other times in the last few weeks. She did not puke out of laziness.
After reading alot of the replies on here, I realize now that people have different sensitivy to when/how they feel the need to vomit.

Of course I cleaned it up ( grumbling ) because I love her. My question was just simply am I expecting too much out of her by expecting her to be able to make it to the toilet. My lesson here is that now I need to stress the importance of keeping the bucket with her all the way to the bathroom.



I don't think you are expecting too much for her to make it to the toilet. At least she made the attempt though!

I just couldn't get past the suggestion that you should make your child clean it up herself. Yikes! I know you would never make your sick kid do that no matter how awful it is for you. And I know it is, cuz I made Ryan do it when L puked the first time! lol Even still, whenever L pukes, I make Ryan go into the bathroom with him, cuz I just can't handle it. LOL! I'm a sally when it comes to puke, but no matter how awful it is for me to have to clean, I know it's that much harder being the sick person. :( I can't imagine being told that on top of being sick, and being a kid, that I have to clean it up myself.

#45 Ali

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 06:38 PM


I honestly wonder what the responses would have been if the scenario was that the OP had vomitted and her dh didn't clean it up. IMHO, the guy would have been eaten alive on this board! Why shouldn't our children receive the same treatment that we expect to receive?! I appreciate the responses, though. It makes me so grateful for the love I'm surrounded by in my own life. <3

Interesting perspective.. Maybe a good top for HD?

Personally I wouldnt expect nor ask dh to clean up my own puke. Unless I was so bedridden and couldnt physically clean it up. And to be totally honest, I would have a very hard time cleaning up an adults vomit, husband , friend or whatever. Doesnt mean I dont love my friends, but its just very hard for me, and again it would be different if that friend or relative was extremely sick and not capable ( of cousre I would never leave someone in it if they werent capable of cleaning it up)


I agree Jen! I would never expect dh to clean up my mess and I would NOT clean up his unless it was a situation where he absolutely could not do it on his own. Which would mean an ambulance had better have been called to take him to the hospital! LOL

I also think that for those who have said that they would have the child clean up their own mess, I don`t think they meant while they would go sit and do nothing! It`s more of having them help clean it up. Such as, I`ll get the pail and mop ready and you can mop it, or grab paper towels.... The big difference is also in the age. A five year old would not be a great help but a 10 year old is very capable of helping with clean up.

I know that my kids have no idea how repulsive I find it when they are throwing up and they don`t know that I am gagging while I`m rubbing their back and getting them tissues. If my child kept throwing up on the floor, certainly at 10 yrs old and up, I would need help and they would learn that this makes mommy want to throw up too so please lets avoid this from happening again!

#46 Rebekah

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 06:51 PM


I honestly wonder what the responses would have been if the scenario was that the OP had vomitted and her dh didn't clean it up. IMHO, the guy would have been eaten alive on this board! Why shouldn't our children receive the same treatment that we expect to receive?! I appreciate the responses, though. It makes me so grateful for the love I'm surrounded by in my own life. <3

Interesting perspective.. Maybe a good top for HD?

Personally I wouldnt expect nor ask dh to clean up my own puke. Unless I was so bedridden and couldnt physically clean it up. And to be totally honest, I would have a very hard time cleaning up an adults vomit, husband , friend or whatever. Doesnt mean I dont love my friends, but its just very hard for me, and again it would be different if that friend or relative was extremely sick and not capable ( of cousre I would never leave someone in it if they werent capable of cleaning it up)


This reminds me of a incident when my ds was little and we were on our way home from Shipshewana, I contacted food poisoning at a restaurant en route. So as you might imagine I was super ill from both ends. Sorry maybe TMI. lol
Somewhere in the night, once home, I made it to the bathroom, but not the toilet. I must have passed out because when I came to, my dh was standing over me, YES you read correctly, CLEANING up my mess. Now that's love and I would do NO less for my family. For all those of you who think that it is not abuse, then I would suggest you call CAS and run that scenario by a worker because I can guarantee you it IS inhumane and abusive.

#47 murkywaters

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 06:53 PM

I honestly wonder what the responses would have been if the scenario was that the OP had vomitted and her dh didn't clean it up. IMHO, the guy would have been eaten alive on this board! Why shouldn't our children receive the same treatment that we expect to receive?! I appreciate the responses, though. It makes me so grateful for the love I'm surrounded by in my own life. <3

I have been told to clean up my own puke. and I would totally and completely make him do the same. and if he was so sick that he couldn't then I'd be sending him to the hospital so the cleaning staff at the hospital can clean it up! I mean come on! What do I look like a nurse!?!?!

#48 DivineMrsM

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 06:55 PM

Ryan would clean my puke in a heartbeat. If Ryan was too sick to clean his own, I'd do it too, begrudgingly. LOL! I HATE puke. I'd clean a million shit covered surfaces if that meant I wouldn't have to clean a speck of puke. But I'd do it, if I had to.

And Murk - LOL!!

#49 emmsmama

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 09:57 PM

Given the details you shared, I wouldn't make her clean it up. She just made a bad judgement call when it came to getting to the bathroom. Both of my kids were able to puke into a bucket by around age 3. They haven't been sick often, but once they could puke in a bucket, if they were sick then we made sure they had a bucket with them at all times and there were buckets avail. throughout the house just in case for some reason they forgot the one they had somewhere.

The only time I would make a child help me clean up puke is if they were purposely puking all over the place for who knows what reason. My kids aren't like that though, to do something that gross just to tick me off and I don't know many kids that would purposely do that and if they did then there are likely much more serious issues to deal with with the child than having to clean up their puke.

Now, if I had a teen that went out against my wishes and got drunk and had a hangover, they'd be cleaning up their puke. I've joking said to my kids that if they eat to much candy and get sick they'll be cleaning it, but it's an empty threat/joke and they know it. My son has done it a few times where he's eaten too much candy - once while camping with my mom and she learned not to give him so much candy after that, once when he was a toddler and ate too much at Christmastime and I let hubby clean that mess up, and once when I was tired of policing Halloween candy so I told the kids to use their judgement but if they got sick then not to come crying to me and sure enough ds got sick, but he puked in a bucket and learned not to eat so much candy after that.

I don't know if I'd say having a 10 yr. old help clean up puke is abuse, but I just don't see any situation where it'd be necessary or the right choice, except in the instance above that I mentioned if the kid is doing it on purpose to be malicious. If I'm sick I don't want to be cleaning up puke and if my hubby even missed the toilet I would clean it up. I wouldn't like it, but if he or the kids are sick I'm not going to make them clean up their own puke.

#50 jenny

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 10:07 PM

It's not a childs job to clean up vomit. Sorry but it's not. That's a responsibility parents have, and I don't care what parent does it as long as it's done. I would NEVER make my kid clean it up.

#51 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 10:44 PM


I honestly wonder what the responses would have been if the scenario was that the OP had vomitted and her dh didn't clean it up. IMHO, the guy would have been eaten alive on this board! Why shouldn't our children receive the same treatment that we expect to receive?! I appreciate the responses, though. It makes me so grateful for the love I'm surrounded by in my own life. <3

Interesting perspective.. Maybe a good top for HD?

Personally I wouldnt expect nor ask dh to clean up my own puke. Unless I was so bedridden and couldnt physically clean it up. And to be totally honest, I would have a very hard time cleaning up an adults vomit, husband , friend or whatever. Doesnt mean I dont love my friends, but its just very hard for me, and again it would be different if that friend or relative was extremely sick and not capable ( of cousre I would never leave someone in it if they werent capable of cleaning it up)


thats completely different than the original post (or whatever post it was, I can't remember) sounded like. Like you said, just have her carry the bucket with her whereever she goes.. I've done it on many occasions.

For the record, I have no issues cleaning up anybodys, puke, poop, pee, phlem, blood, bile or any other bodily function that you can think of. It's actually what I do for a living, so to suggest that I would have my kid clean it cuz i'm too lazy or don't want to do it is absurd. I do it on a daily basis.

ETA - I quoted the wrong post (tired :p ) meant to quote the one with the bucket

Edited by Mama2Gracie, 28 August 2011 - 10:45 PM.


#52 EmnMs

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Posted 28 August 2011 - 10:59 PM

my kids know to run to the bathroom by age 3, to vomit- and by 4yrs there's no missing the toilet unless they wake up, being sick, in bed.

that being said- if they do miss, or get it on the floor... I'm not going to get angry and make them clean it up. I have young children, so maybe it's different? But I can say for certain that even if my 10yr old child vomits and gets it on the floor, I'm not going to say " you clean that up since you made the mess" . ya, cleaning puke off the floor is a p.i.t.a and disgusting- but parenting is about nurturing [among other things] and when your child is sick...you should be taking care of them, and helping them feel better.

#53 Mom0f2

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Posted 29 August 2011 - 06:28 AM

Sometimes kids just don't feel the urge, they just go where they are...
My daughter in grade 9.. woke up everymorning... and puked, but she said the bucket made her more sick... so I put a rubber mat down... and just washed it.. never ever ever made her clean it herself... she was 14.....
I am here for my kids.... my son still sometimes misses..... I think they just think they will be fine, then it hits so darn fast, they can't judge it...

My daughter was good till then.... she isn't much of a puker.... but I guess after doing daycare for 20 years... you get pretty good at this stuff.. really nothing bothers me but adults puking...

I am thinking she has some kind of virus or food bothering her.... the nights she is sick.. keep a tab that day of what she ate.. maybe something isn't sitting well.. my son can't have milk too close to bedtime or milk products.... they don't sit well...

Good Luck.. and I really do understand your concern....

#54 Keegsmama

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Posted 03 September 2011 - 02:03 PM

my kids rarely throw up. But they both know to throw up in a bucket. Sofie is two and K is 7. I will clean it up as long as they aren't throwing up because they were drinking. I would clean up my husband's vomit because if he was to throw up on the floor he must really be sick.

#55 Outnumbered

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Posted 03 September 2011 - 08:02 PM

It depends on the bug, too. I remember one particularly nasty virus when I was a teenager...NOBODY made it to the toilet in time. I'd be irritated too, but I wouldn't have made her clean it up.

#56 Jen K

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Posted 03 September 2011 - 08:17 PM

ftr.. I didnt make her clean it up lol..
I just wanted to know if I was expecting too much out of her at this age to be able to make it to the washroom.. :)