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Dad uses Facebook to teach daughter a lesson


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#1 jenny

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 05:00 PM

Warning in the video's description: Since this video seems to have gone crazy, I figure I'll post this notice. I'm going to read a letter my 15 year old daughter wrote. There ARE some curse words in it. None of them are incredibly bad, but they are definitely things a little kid shouldn't hear... not to mention things MY KID shouldn't say!



Read more: http://www.litefm.co...0#ixzz1m74w27yf


http://www.litefm.co...article=9738000

#2 Outnumbered

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 06:11 PM

I don't know about this one. I can't help but feel that this guy is very much about punishment and control. I would understand taking away her computer, but the implied violence here disturbs me.

#3 justsamma

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 06:33 PM

meh.
i feel both sides on this one.
but i would have sold the laptop, not shot it.

#4 emmsmama

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 06:34 PM

I think the only lesson he taught with that video is how to do something completely stupid to get back at someone. He ruined a perfectly good laptop and just taught his daughter that the person with more power can get the person with less to shutup by wielding their power. I bet he's loving all the attention he's getting now too.

Yes, her facebook comments were disprespectful, but I'm sure lots of kids complain about their parents when they aren't around and they are ticked off at them about something. I can think of several better ways he could have taught her a lesson.

#5 sims

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 06:38 PM

meh.
i feel both sides on this one.
but i would have sold the laptop, not shot it.



that is what i was thinking to

#6 Danielle

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 08:13 PM

I think the only lesson he taught with that video is how to do something completely stupid to get back at someone. He ruined a perfectly good laptop and just taught his daughter that the person with more power can get the person with less to shutup by wielding their power. I bet he's loving all the attention he's getting now too.

Yes, her facebook comments were disprespectful, but I'm sure lots of kids complain about their parents when they aren't around and they are ticked off at them about something. I can think of several better ways he could have taught her a lesson.

:goodpost

#7 Claudia

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 09:42 PM

I think the only lesson he taught with that video is how to do something completely stupid to get back at someone. He ruined a perfectly good laptop and just taught his daughter that the person with more power can get the person with less to shutup by wielding their power. I bet he's loving all the attention he's getting now too.

Yes, her facebook comments were disprespectful, but I'm sure lots of kids complain about their parents when they aren't around and they are ticked off at them about something. I can think of several better ways he could have taught her a lesson.


Couldn't have said it better myself. I do think the fact that she disrespected her parents on a public website deserves some punishment but to shoot her laptop is ridiculous. He could have sold it and made the $$ back that he had just spent on it and taught her a lesson in other ways. She'll probably just resent him even more than she clearly already did.

#8 Trea

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 11:59 PM

I have no issue with it. He bought the computer and, therefore it is his right to do with it as he pleases. Why sell it? He seems to not need the money so he decided to show his daughter that through this act. He destroyed something he owned. Showed his daughter that something he generously gave to her and kept up could be taken away with no hope of recovery because she refused to be respectful to her parents.

I think more parents should be like this! Way too many kids today are lazy, whiny and demanding. We are raising a generation who believe everything should be given to them just because they grace us with their presence each day.

#9 Ali

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 12:02 AM

I'm so glad this came up and I'm happy that most people here so far are of the same opinion as me. Tons of friends posted this on FB and were raving about how wonderfully he handled it. I don't think so. I found him to be immature and if he can afford to shoot a laptop that he apparently just payed over a hundred to upgrade, then clearly his dd won't have any sense of the value of things either! She clearly does not feel able to communicate with her parents if she resorted to this kind of public venting. I feel bad for her and wonder what kind of things were said and done when the camera was off!

#10 crayons

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 06:24 PM

hmm, I guess when you all have teenagers you'll understand. I have read my 13 yrs old face book page and I cannot believe what some children post. Also, did you guys not hear the part that a few months ago she pulled the same stunt and was grounded and she did it again. And her dad fixed her computer only to have his dd dis him on face book. Why would he sell it, what lesson would he be teaching her, and the way he was speaking it was obvious that she is very disrespectful towards her parents. Good for him, I made sure my kids saw it because it can be done too.

#11 Jill

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 06:40 PM

Why would he sell it? Because it would still be gone from her forever, but this was he doesn't lose all his money! That's why!

I think it was ridiculous of him to do this, frankly.

#12 murkywaters

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 07:25 PM

the fact that this father would actually SHOOT something of his daughters is very disturbing to me. the violence toward her item is in my eyes a projection of what he is capable of doing to her. Frankly if my father came to me with bullets in my computer and explained that this is what he did out of anger (and clearly there was anger as he crushed not only the paper but the cigarette in his hand and side note he couldn't have put THAT down before the camera debut?) I would be afraid! frankly I'm afraid FOR this girl who's "life is about to get a whole lot harder"

#13 Trea

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 12:14 AM

the fact that this father would actually SHOOT something of his daughters is very disturbing to me. the violence toward her item is in my eyes a projection of what he is capable of doing to her. Frankly if my father came to me with bullets in my computer and explained that this is what he did out of anger (and clearly there was anger as he crushed not only the paper but the cigarette in his hand and side note he couldn't have put THAT down before the camera debut?) I would be afraid! frankly I'm afraid FOR this girl who's "life is about to get a whole lot harder"


Just because someone would be willing to shoot at inanimate objects does not mean they would be willing to harm a person!!! If my dad came to me with bullets in my computer I'd wonder where he got it. I'd be more afraid of the fact that my dad who was against guns now had one. If my BF brought me a computer with bullets in it I'd think 'gee, he's pissed' and would not be afraid for myself or my kids. This is because he is used to guns and I know he would never harm a person who was not trying to harm him or his family.

What if he had just run it over with a car? Or even dropped it from a balcony? Would that be different? Less "violent"?

Of course he was angry. I think him showing the world he is angry is a hell of a lot better than just keeping it to himself and allowing it to fester. A parent who does that is much more likely to hurt their child.

HERE is a follow-up on it

#14 Attached Amber

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 12:21 AM

In my uninformed opinion this seems to be something that bothers people who haven't grown up around guns.

In the south, where my family is from and this family is clearly from, putting a bullet in something is generally not such a taboo act. It would not have made me afraid that my parents were going to be violent to me at all. It would have had the desired effect on me.

Since I've lived in Canada it has been very obvious to me that the general attitude towards and around guns is much, much different here.

#15 Nian

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 07:34 AM

the fact that this father would actually SHOOT something of his daughters is very disturbing to me. the violence toward her item is in my eyes a projection of what he is capable of doing to her. Frankly if my father came to me with bullets in my computer and explained that this is what he did out of anger (and clearly there was anger as he crushed not only the paper but the cigarette in his hand and side note he couldn't have put THAT down before the camera debut?) I would be afraid! frankly I'm afraid FOR this girl who's "life is about to get a whole lot harder"



That is just it. It was a privilege for her to have that laptop, not an obligation from her parents. He just tried to get the point accross that privileges do get taken away, afterall he did pay for it. Seems kids think that money grows on trees and we as parents owe them these things, and what it more disturbing, the next generation of kids seem to think THE world owes them. How does shooting something HE bought seem worse than a child destroying their toy because they felt like it?

#16 DivineMrsM

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 07:54 AM

I don't know how I feel about it. But from his updates, his daughter doesn't seem scarred from it and even thinks the attention is kinda funny. *shrug*

#17 jenny

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 08:14 AM

I guess you kinda gotta look at it is how would your child learn from this? Each child learns differently and he must have known what would in this situation.

That said...

I would never encourage a gun use in any situation for punishment. I would have actually donated her computer to a child who respected and wanted one. Forget selling and getting money for it. And I would have had her facebook account deactivated and no usage on any electronic device for a long time.

#18 emmsmama

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 08:19 AM

I didn't think he was going to be violent toward his daughter, I just thought that he acted just as immaturely and foolishly as she did with her little facebook rant. There were many better and more logically ways he could have used to teach her a lesson about disrespecting her parents. People seem to have this mistaken belief that discipline can only be of the old "spare the rod, spoil the child" kind so to speak, as in it's got to be hard core punishment or it's not worth anything. Just like in spanking discussions people seem to get the idea that if you don't spank that your kids are going to have no respect and run the show and it's not true at all. You can discipline your child and teach them to respect others without being a bully and shooting their possessions.

#19 Rebekah

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 12:28 PM

I think the only lesson he taught with that video is how to do something completely stupid to get back at someone. He ruined a perfectly good laptop and just taught his daughter that the person with more power can get the person with less to shutup by wielding their power. I bet he's loving all the attention he's getting now too.

Yes, her facebook comments were disprespectful, but I'm sure lots of kids complain about their parents when they aren't around and they are ticked off at them about something. I can think of several better ways he could have taught her a lesson.



True True True. What a waste of a perfectly good computer that some needy family could have used.
What complete disrespect for the money it took to purchase it.
What an idiot father for just now recognizing that HE set up that 'entitlement complex' he claims his daughter has. Duh
After all, what she had, he bought. lol He should infact, be shooting his ownself in the foot. He's just reaping
what he has sown.

#20 Kiana

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 01:38 PM


the fact that this father would actually SHOOT something of his daughters is very disturbing to me. the violence toward her item is in my eyes a projection of what he is capable of doing to her. Frankly if my father came to me with bullets in my computer and explained that this is what he did out of anger (and clearly there was anger as he crushed not only the paper but the cigarette in his hand and side note he couldn't have put THAT down before the camera debut?) I would be afraid! frankly I'm afraid FOR this girl who's "life is about to get a whole lot harder"


Just because someone would be willing to shoot at inanimate objects does not mean they would be willing to harm a person!!! If my dad came to me with bullets in my computer I'd wonder where he got it. I'd be more afraid of the fact that my dad who was against guns now had one. If my BF brought me a computer with bullets in it I'd think 'gee, he's pissed' and would not be afraid for myself or my kids. This is because he is used to guns and I know he would never harm a person who was not trying to harm him or his family.

What if he had just run it over with a car? Or even dropped it from a balcony? Would that be different? Less "violent"?

Of course he was angry. I think him showing the world he is angry is a hell of a lot better than just keeping it to himself and allowing it to fester. A parent who does that is much more likely to hurt their child.

HERE is a follow-up on it


I think it was a little over the top - but at the same time I think its humerous. And she doesnt seem to be overly phased by it - thanks for the follow up link. :)

#21 Tired Mom

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 02:03 PM

And people say I'm mean lol.


He didn't give any real explanation to why she should be doing what she's supposed to.

Reasoning behind a way of thinking goes further than "I said so".

How do you model respect for ones belongings while destroying them?

Man I hope he never gave her a kitten.

Her chores shouldn't be arbitrary, or presented as free labour.

I don't think it's right to demand a minor living at home, who is in school, to get a job.

She posted her rant on a public networking site to be seen, so getting her famous from it is most likely a silver lining for her.


Was he doing this because he thought it would get through to her? Or to save face after he felt humiliated on Facebook? It strikes me as a who has the bigger dick competition, and it's always unsettling for me to see that happen between a parent and child.

#22 Trea

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 04:54 PM

And people say I'm mean lol.


He didn't give any real explanation to why she should be doing what she's supposed to.

Reasoning behind a way of thinking goes further than "I said so".

How do you model respect for ones belongings while destroying them?

Man I hope he never gave her a kitten.

Her chores shouldn't be arbitrary, or presented as free labour.

I don't think it's right to demand a minor living at home, who is in school, to get a job.

She posted her rant on a public networking site to be seen, so getting her famous from it is most likely a silver lining for her.


Was he doing this because he thought it would get through to her? Or to save face after he felt humiliated on Facebook? It strikes me as a who has the bigger dick competition, and it's always unsettling for me to see that happen between a parent and child.


Did you not do chores growing up. I know I was expected to. I see no chore that could be assigned in a home as being arbitrary. Keeping the home neat and clean is the responsibility of all in the home. It affects all who live and visit there, including teens and their friends. The health and welfare of all in the home should be shared by all. This means the parents who go out and work everyday to put food on the table, a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and all the other necesities should not also have to clean that home without help if there is a teen to help out. And free labour? WTH!? I don't think expecting them to participate in household chores as free labour. How about farm families. Should the kids be excluded from helping on the farm because they would then be "free labour"? I sure do not see where asking any person to participate in the upkeep of the family could be considered free labour.

Not expect a minor going to school to get a job???? Really!? How do you expect these kids to get the things they feel they "need" that are truly wants....a car, designer clothes, electronics, going out with friends etc.? Just give it to them?

As for the kitten quip.....said like someone who has no understanding of legal gun owners. Again....just because someone would hurt/shoot an inanimate object does not mean they would hurt a living being. Again....if he had chose to destroy it in a "less violent manner" would the outcry be the same?

And, sometimes "I said so" IS the reasoning! And yes, he did explain....he provides for the family and she takes then complains about how hard she has it. He plans to show her just how easy she has had it. Just how hard others have to work for what she thinks is her right to be handed. Sometimes being a parent to a teen means simply saying "this is the rule. no discussion, no compromise" A parent should not have to justify them-self to their child! Why should they? And in this situation he did explain himself.....the first time she pulled the same thing.

All I have left to say is......go through the teen years with an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child, then get back to me. Until you have been in the shoes you have no right to judge.

#23 Nian

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 05:44 PM

Trea, you are my hero!! Couldnt have said it better myself!
I dont have teenagers yet, I will. But I WAS a teenager, and we all were. More or less, most teens act the same. Not all, most!

#24 emmsmama

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 06:05 PM

And, sometimes "I said so" IS the reasoning! And yes, he did explain....he provides for the family and she takes then complains about how hard she has it. He plans to show her just how easy she has had it. Just how hard others have to work for what she thinks is her right to be handed. Sometimes being a parent to a teen means simply saying "this is the rule. no discussion, no compromise" A parent should not have to justify them-self to their child! Why should they? And in this situation he did explain himself.....the first time she pulled the same thing.

All I have left to say is......go through the teen years with an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child, then get back to me. Until you have been in the shoes you have no right to judge.


I can't speak for others, but for me, if he would have given the laptop away or sold it, then no my responses to the situation would not have been the same, because I believe in consequences for actions and discipline for kids. I just don't believe what he did taught his daughter anything useful at all and he acted like a big brat himself, exactly what he was trying to supposedly teach his daughter not to do. I read the follow up and it's interesting to read that she now things they should shoot up her phone too. Yep, she definitely learned the value of a dollar :rolleyes

#25 AlwaysOnTheGo

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 08:07 PM


And people say I'm mean lol.


He didn't give any real explanation to why she should be doing what she's supposed to.

Reasoning behind a way of thinking goes further than "I said so".

How do you model respect for ones belongings while destroying them?

Man I hope he never gave her a kitten.

Her chores shouldn't be arbitrary, or presented as free labour.

I don't think it's right to demand a minor living at home, who is in school, to get a job.

She posted her rant on a public networking site to be seen, so getting her famous from it is most likely a silver lining for her.


Was he doing this because he thought it would get through to her? Or to save face after he felt humiliated on Facebook? It strikes me as a who has the bigger dick competition, and it's always unsettling for me to see that happen between a parent and child.


Did you not do chores growing up. I know I was expected to. I see no chore that could be assigned in a home as being arbitrary. Keeping the home neat and clean is the responsibility of all in the home. It affects all who live and visit there, including teens and their friends. The health and welfare of all in the home should be shared by all. This means the parents who go out and work everyday to put food on the table, a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and all the other necesities should not also have to clean that home without help if there is a teen to help out. And free labour? WTH!? I don't think expecting them to participate in household chores as free labour. How about farm families. Should the kids be excluded from helping on the farm because they would then be "free labour"? I sure do not see where asking any person to participate in the upkeep of the family could be considered free labour.

Not expect a minor going to school to get a job???? Really!? How do you expect these kids to get the things they feel they "need" that are truly wants....a car, designer clothes, electronics, going out with friends etc.? Just give it to them?

As for the kitten quip.....said like someone who has no understanding of legal gun owners. Again....just because someone would hurt/shoot an inanimate object does not mean they would hurt a living being. Again....if he had chose to destroy it in a "less violent manner" would the outcry be the same?

And, sometimes "I said so" IS the reasoning! And yes, he did explain....he provides for the family and she takes then complains about how hard she has it. He plans to show her just how easy she has had it. Just how hard others have to work for what she thinks is her right to be handed. Sometimes being a parent to a teen means simply saying "this is the rule. no discussion, no compromise" A parent should not have to justify them-self to their child! Why should they? And in this situation he did explain himself.....the first time she pulled the same thing.

All I have left to say is......go through the teen years with an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child, then get back to me. Until you have been in the shoes you have no right to judge.




Well I have 3 teens and an almost teen and I would never go that far to make a point. I dont feel it matters if TiredMom has gone through the teen stage yet. She goes through the teen stuff with me. We talk about alot of the things my TEENS go through and complain about. Sure it doesn't make her an expert but she is a parent and she has an opinion on how she knows she will be with her children when they get to the teen stage. BUT even having teens does that make us experts on how ALL teens should be??? ALL of my children would react differently and I am different with all of them. ALL (well since I will get jumped on from people I will rephrase that since most of the kids on this forum are angels) ALOT of kids complain about having to do things that they would prefer not to do around the house/school. Hell even us as adults (cant tell me no one on here has never complained about a spouse/a chore around the house/kids) would you go that far to punish your spouse for complaining on the internet? I know I compain about having to do things around my house because I know I am not perfect some people think they are the know all and seen all type. I am sure most of us adults were perfect teens and we never complained about having to finish up chores before being able to go out and do things. All in all the final reaction of him shooting a laptop to prove a point is just silly. I know my kids would think I was crazy and think I had gone mental reacting the way he did. So that being said the last sentence is how MY children would react not everyone elses since alot of others think all posts are all about them. Kids learn and treat people they way they are raised. So if a teen is being ungrateful,deceitful, self-centered maybe the parenting should be questioned.

#26 AlwaysOnTheGo

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 08:32 PM

I wonder if my husband is going to take my computer outside to shoot holes into since I have complained about having to do some extra things... Hmmm
Would your spouse shoot your computer if you complained about how your day was going...Maybe some of us have complained about having to do an extra chore here and there I know not ALL of us on here would ever complain? Just making a point on how crazy the whole reaction was.

#27 crayons

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 08:58 PM


And people say I'm mean lol.


He didn't give any real explanation to why she should be doing what she's supposed to.

Reasoning behind a way of thinking goes further than "I said so".

How do you model respect for ones belongings while destroying them?

Man I hope he never gave her a kitten.

Her chores shouldn't be arbitrary, or presented as free labour.

I don't think it's right to demand a minor living at home, who is in school, to get a job.

She posted her rant on a public networking site to be seen, so getting her famous from it is most likely a silver lining for her.


Was he doing this because he thought it would get through to her? Or to save face after he felt humiliated on Facebook? It strikes me as a who has the bigger dick competition, and it's always unsettling for me to see that happen between a parent and child.


Did you not do chores growing up. I know I was expected to. I see no chore that could be assigned in a home as being arbitrary. Keeping the home neat and clean is the responsibility of all in the home. It affects all who live and visit there, including teens and their friends. The health and welfare of all in the home should be shared by all. This means the parents who go out and work everyday to put food on the table, a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and all the other necesities should not also have to clean that home without help if there is a teen to help out. And free labour? WTH!? I don't think expecting them to participate in household chores as free labour. How about farm families. Should the kids be excluded from helping on the farm because they would then be "free labour"? I sure do not see where asking any person to participate in the upkeep of the family could be considered free labour.

Not expect a minor going to school to get a job???? Really!? How do you expect these kids to get the things they feel they "need" that are truly wants....a car, designer clothes, electronics, going out with friends etc.? Just give it to them?

As for the kitten quip.....said like someone who has no understanding of legal gun owners. Again....just because someone would hurt/shoot an inanimate object does not mean they would hurt a living being. Again....if he had chose to destroy it in a "less violent manner" would the outcry be the same?

And, sometimes "I said so" IS the reasoning! And yes, he did explain....he provides for the family and she takes then complains about how hard she has it. He plans to show her just how easy she has had it. Just how hard others have to work for what she thinks is her right to be handed. Sometimes being a parent to a teen means simply saying "this is the rule. no discussion, no compromise" A parent should not have to justify them-self to their child! Why should they? And in this situation he did explain himself.....the first time she pulled the same thing.

All I have left to say is......go through the teen years with an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child, then get back to me. Until you have been in the shoes you have no right to judge.



awesome, totally agree!!!! I just don't understand why people who don't have teenagers would say they would never do this. Have you seen what 13 yr old kids write on face book. Let me share some interesting stuff that is on my dd's page (she doesn't post this stuff but a girl in her class does) lets see, oh how many hate their parents, who is NOT a virgin, my parents are losers because I have to clean my room, life sucks, life is unfair, my mom took my phone away what b****....now you get the point. Someone on my other suggested that the dad she hang it in her room and next time she feels like the need to disrespect him she can look at the lap top.

#28 Trea

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 09:28 PM



And people say I'm mean lol.


He didn't give any real explanation to why she should be doing what she's supposed to.

Reasoning behind a way of thinking goes further than "I said so".

How do you model respect for ones belongings while destroying them?

Man I hope he never gave her a kitten.

Her chores shouldn't be arbitrary, or presented as free labour.

I don't think it's right to demand a minor living at home, who is in school, to get a job.

She posted her rant on a public networking site to be seen, so getting her famous from it is most likely a silver lining for her.


Was he doing this because he thought it would get through to her? Or to save face after he felt humiliated on Facebook? It strikes me as a who has the bigger dick competition, and it's always unsettling for me to see that happen between a parent and child.


Did you not do chores growing up. I know I was expected to. I see no chore that could be assigned in a home as being arbitrary. Keeping the home neat and clean is the responsibility of all in the home. It affects all who live and visit there, including teens and their friends. The health and welfare of all in the home should be shared by all. This means the parents who go out and work everyday to put food on the table, a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and all the other necesities should not also have to clean that home without help if there is a teen to help out. And free labour? WTH!? I don't think expecting them to participate in household chores as free labour. How about farm families. Should the kids be excluded from helping on the farm because they would then be "free labour"? I sure do not see where asking any person to participate in the upkeep of the family could be considered free labour.

Not expect a minor going to school to get a job???? Really!? How do you expect these kids to get the things they feel they "need" that are truly wants....a car, designer clothes, electronics, going out with friends etc.? Just give it to them?

As for the kitten quip.....said like someone who has no understanding of legal gun owners. Again....just because someone would hurt/shoot an inanimate object does not mean they would hurt a living being. Again....if he had chose to destroy it in a "less violent manner" would the outcry be the same?

And, sometimes "I said so" IS the reasoning! And yes, he did explain....he provides for the family and she takes then complains about how hard she has it. He plans to show her just how easy she has had it. Just how hard others have to work for what she thinks is her right to be handed. Sometimes being a parent to a teen means simply saying "this is the rule. no discussion, no compromise" A parent should not have to justify them-self to their child! Why should they? And in this situation he did explain himself.....the first time she pulled the same thing.

All I have left to say is......go through the teen years with an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child, then get back to me. Until you have been in the shoes you have no right to judge.




Well I have 3 teens and an almost teen and I would never go that far to make a point. I dont feel it matters if TiredMom has gone through the teen stage yet. She goes through the teen stuff with me. We talk about alot of the things my TEENS go through and complain about. Sure it doesn't make her an expert but she is a parent and she has an opinion on how she knows she will be with her children when they get to the teen stage. BUT even having teens does that make us experts on how ALL teens should be??? ALL of my children would react differently and I am different with all of them. ALL (well since I will get jumped on from people I will rephrase that since most of the kids on this forum are angels) ALOT of kids complain about having to do things that they would prefer not to do around the house/school. Hell even us as adults (cant tell me no one on here has never complained about a spouse/a chore around the house/kids) would you go that far to punish your spouse for complaining on the internet? I know I compain about having to do things around my house because I know I am not perfect some people think they are the know all and seen all type. I am sure most of us adults were perfect teens and we never complained about having to finish up chores before being able to go out and do things. All in all the final reaction of him shooting a laptop to prove a point is just silly. I know my kids would think I was crazy and think I had gone mental reacting the way he did. So that being said the last sentence is how MY children would react not everyone elses since alot of others think all posts are all about them. Kids learn and treat people they way they are raised. So if a teen is being ungrateful,deceitful, self-centered maybe the parenting should be questioned.


and did your children to "arbitrary chores"? were they "free labour"? Did they work while "minors going to school"? Or did you just had them everything they asked for?

My ODS would have though I'd gone mental too if I reacted that way, but, then I never have had a gun. My son didn't think I went mental when I tossed his video games in the garbage because he had his umpteenth temper tantrum because he had been losing. Nor did he think I was mental when I refused to buy him a second Ipod when he broke his. I don't think this dad destroying the laptop is silly at all. As he said, she still gets to keep it and it will remind her of the fact that her parents expect her to follow the rules.

Yes, kids learn to treat people the way they are raise in general. Some kids will rebel more than others too. One way they rebel is by going against everything their parents taught them, by being the antithesis of their parents. So, yes "maybe" parenting needs to be questions....but,just maybe. Adults will be as judgmental as they learn to be also. many people will judge others by what they think they see and refuse to look at full pictures. This is why I refuse to judge this dad and what he did. I do not know the entire story. All I know is the video, the comments on his FB page and 2 other articles written on the subject.

My saying that you should BTDT before judging was to everyone who thinks this child was so wronged. Not one person. Sorry if it seemed like that part was pointed at anyone in particular.

There is a huge difference between saying "I really have too much to do" Than saying 'my mom is such a B. She makes me do work at home with no fing payment. my life sucks because my fing parents are so unfair. they never do anything for me and treat me like a slave. they suck' It is not just the fact some kids complain. It is the context and tone they do it in.

Edited by Trea, 13 February 2012 - 09:29 PM.


#29 Tired Mom

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 09:45 PM


And people say I'm mean lol.


He didn't give any real explanation to why she should be doing what she's supposed to.

Reasoning behind a way of thinking goes further than "I said so".

How do you model respect for ones belongings while destroying them?

Man I hope he never gave her a kitten.

Her chores shouldn't be arbitrary, or presented as free labour.

I don't think it's right to demand a minor living at home, who is in school, to get a job.

She posted her rant on a public networking site to be seen, so getting her famous from it is most likely a silver lining for her.


Was he doing this because he thought it would get through to her? Or to save face after he felt humiliated on Facebook? It strikes me as a who has the bigger dick competition, and it's always unsettling for me to see that happen between a parent and child.


Did you not do chores growing up. I know I was expected to. I see no chore that could be assigned in a home as being arbitrary. Keeping the home neat and clean is the responsibility of all in the home. It affects all who live and visit there, including teens and their friends. The health and welfare of all in the home should be shared by all. This means the parents who go out and work everyday to put food on the table, a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and all the other necesities should not also have to clean that home without help if there is a teen to help out. And free labour? WTH!? I don't think expecting them to participate in household chores as free labour. How about farm families. Should the kids be excluded from helping on the farm because they would then be "free labour"? I sure do not see where asking any person to participate in the upkeep of the family could be considered free labour.

Not expect a minor going to school to get a job???? Really!? How do you expect these kids to get the things they feel they "need" that are truly wants....a car, designer clothes, electronics, going out with friends etc.? Just give it to them?

As for the kitten quip.....said like someone who has no understanding of legal gun owners. Again....just because someone would hurt/shoot an inanimate object does not mean they would hurt a living being. Again....if he had chose to destroy it in a "less violent manner" would the outcry be the same?

And, sometimes "I said so" IS the reasoning! And yes, he did explain....he provides for the family and she takes then complains about how hard she has it. He plans to show her just how easy she has had it. Just how hard others have to work for what she thinks is her right to be handed. Sometimes being a parent to a teen means simply saying "this is the rule. no discussion, no compromise" A parent should not have to justify them-self to their child! Why should they? And in this situation he did explain himself.....the first time she pulled the same thing.

All I have left to say is......go through the teen years with an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child, then get back to me. Until you have been in the shoes you have no right to judge.



Yes I had chores growing up. To this day I hate with a passion dishes, which I was made to do all the time. Before getting a dishwasher I used disposable everything other than pots and pans, because I would rather spend a crap load of extra money then washing all them dishes a day still. I drag my feet to this day with what I was forced to do back then.

I expect them to take care of their stuff, and I take care of mine. The only part of the house that is arguably "theirs" is their rooms, and even that is still my house. I'm not giving them any confusion there, on equal partnership. It is my house, I will make the decisions, and with making that decision the bulk of the responsibility lies with me. By the time they could walk I've had them start picking up after themselves, small increments at a time. I am not, nor will I be, their slave. That goes both ways though.

My goal with parenting is to get them to be independent self-sufficient beings. They are my children, not my minions. They are to pick up their messes, laundry, dishes, toys, apply themselves to their homework, strengthen their weaker spots in their curriculum, and to mind how they treat people. That is their responsibilities, not the chores I don't feel like doing.

I stand by my free labour comment. Give me a solid example of a kid asking the parents if they could be born. We decide whether or not we are going to keep the kids, and do all that comes with raising them. It's sad if farm families don't compensate their kids for work that they would pay anyone else to do. Farming his very hard labour.

Damn right I don't expect them to get a job! Their job at that point is getting the most out of their education, and taking care of their (not my) stuff. If they want a job, while they live here it will hinge on how well they can balance it with their other responsibilities. If they can have a job without losing sleep which directly correlates to how well they would do in school I'd ok it, but force them? No. That doesn't mean I will buy them whatever they want, and they will turn into "an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child"ren. They are already being taught the differences between wants and needs, and needs we cover, the wants are nice - but not to be expected automatically. A reasonable entertainment budget will be given. Will it be enough to do everything they want to do? No. But they can prioritize what they feel is most important, and will have to live with their decisions.

When they don't appreciate something it gets removed until they can show the proper appreciation. Working hard at getting back is a better lesson than destroying it because they care about it. Didn't he say that she owes him the money for the time and upgrades he put into it? His dumb a$$ decided to take the thing out back and remove all resale value, he should be eating the monetary loss there. You know, how teaching people responsibility involves accepting the consequences of their actions and all...

To your response of my "kitten quip", I don't understand irresponsible gun owners, no. Not all firearms owners would blithely fire off a gun as the means of setting someone straight. Maybe next turn out the lights by shooting out the bulbs. Pull an Elvis if you can't find the remote to your tv. I'm not afraid of guns, I don't wish the world was without them, and I recognize the times and places they are necessary. This is completely and utterly unnecessary.

His ego was bruised when she sh!t talked him on the internet, plain and simple. Instead of being mature about it, he decided to take it to a level above an eye for an eye. My outcry is why destroy it at all, no matter the method. Especially since he wants her to pay him back for the upgrades he put into it. At the end of paying it off she should have what she's paying for. He CHOSE to give her the laptop. He CHOSE to do the upgrades, even knowing that she was capable of the behaviours she had already exhibited. Now he's expecting to be compensated for his bad choices. That's another great lesson to teach a teen when you don't want "an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child".

She will understand when she's on her own what her parents did for her while she lived at home. Seriously, when has the "Well I had to walk 25k uphill both directions... 5 feet of snow... barefoot..." had the desired effect? It doesn't.

You don't find any other childrens ages have similar entitlement structures? Usually by 5 they are growing out of the world is me complex, but it starts to come back around puberty. They have a bigger vocabulary, just enough life experience to feel they know what it's all about, more expensive desires, most of them have developed some maturity, but there are still definite parallels to their younger selves. Am I parenting teens? No. But considering how much time I spend around them (friends and families kids), and that I was one within the last ten years I do get to have an opinion. I'm not looking back 20 or 30 years shaking my fist at kids these days.

#30 Tired Mom

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 09:50 PM



And people say I'm mean lol.


He didn't give any real explanation to why she should be doing what she's supposed to.

Reasoning behind a way of thinking goes further than "I said so".

How do you model respect for ones belongings while destroying them?

Man I hope he never gave her a kitten.

Her chores shouldn't be arbitrary, or presented as free labour.

I don't think it's right to demand a minor living at home, who is in school, to get a job.

She posted her rant on a public networking site to be seen, so getting her famous from it is most likely a silver lining for her.


Was he doing this because he thought it would get through to her? Or to save face after he felt humiliated on Facebook? It strikes me as a who has the bigger dick competition, and it's always unsettling for me to see that happen between a parent and child.


Did you not do chores growing up. I know I was expected to. I see no chore that could be assigned in a home as being arbitrary. Keeping the home neat and clean is the responsibility of all in the home. It affects all who live and visit there, including teens and their friends. The health and welfare of all in the home should be shared by all. This means the parents who go out and work everyday to put food on the table, a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and all the other necesities should not also have to clean that home without help if there is a teen to help out. And free labour? WTH!? I don't think expecting them to participate in household chores as free labour. How about farm families. Should the kids be excluded from helping on the farm because they would then be "free labour"? I sure do not see where asking any person to participate in the upkeep of the family could be considered free labour.

Not expect a minor going to school to get a job???? Really!? How do you expect these kids to get the things they feel they "need" that are truly wants....a car, designer clothes, electronics, going out with friends etc.? Just give it to them?

As for the kitten quip.....said like someone who has no understanding of legal gun owners. Again....just because someone would hurt/shoot an inanimate object does not mean they would hurt a living being. Again....if he had chose to destroy it in a "less violent manner" would the outcry be the same?

And, sometimes "I said so" IS the reasoning! And yes, he did explain....he provides for the family and she takes then complains about how hard she has it. He plans to show her just how easy she has had it. Just how hard others have to work for what she thinks is her right to be handed. Sometimes being a parent to a teen means simply saying "this is the rule. no discussion, no compromise" A parent should not have to justify them-self to their child! Why should they? And in this situation he did explain himself.....the first time she pulled the same thing.

All I have left to say is......go through the teen years with an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child, then get back to me. Until you have been in the shoes you have no right to judge.



awesome, totally agree!!!! I just don't understand why people who don't have teenagers would say they would never do this. Have you seen what 13 yr old kids write on face book. Let me share some interesting stuff that is on my dd's page (she doesn't post this stuff but a girl in her class does) lets see, oh how many hate their parents, who is NOT a virgin, my parents are losers because I have to clean my room, life sucks, life is unfair, my mom took my phone away what b****....now you get the point. Someone on my other suggested that the dad she hang it in her room and next time she feels like the need to disrespect him she can look at the lap top.


My kids go around complaining that I'm mean all the time, I guess I should send them off to military school...

#31 AlwaysOnTheGo

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 10:06 PM

My kids if they want extra things then they have a resume to go out and find a job BUT if their school is affected by working then the hours they work would be cut since to me for them to get an education is more inportant to me then them working. I dont need to give my kids chores to do, Since the time they were able to take a toy or book off the shelf they were always taught to put it back. Personally (my own parenting) my 18 year old going to university and keeping his grades as high as they are is way more inportant to me then him doing the dishes or making his bed. He takes school seriously and I support that. My 17 and 16 year old need to work a little harder at keeping grades so again them doing "free labour" is not a worry for me. But my teens respect myself and my husband and each other (due to the way they have been raised) they dont need to be asigned things to do around the house.

I know my kids are not little angels and I am sure they complain when I tell them they can't go to so and so's party since I dont know the parent of the child having the party and I know my 16 and 17 year have complained about life being so unfair on facebook they cant go out and hang out but am I going to go to extremes to punish them diffenatly not. Everyone has the right to vent and complain most times they are just looking for attention and sometimes children or adults just find the wrong type of attention.

#32 Trea

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 10:51 PM

My kids if they want extra things then they have a resume to go out and find a job BUT if their school is affected by working then the hours they work would be cut since to me for them to get an education is more inportant to me then them working. I dont need to give my kids chores to do, Since the time they were able to take a toy or book off the shelf they were always taught to put it back. Personally (my own parenting) my 18 year old going to university and keeping his grades as high as they are is way more inportant to me then him doing the dishes or making his bed. He takes school seriously and I support that. My 17 and 16 year old need to work a little harder at keeping grades so again them doing "free labour" is not a worry for me. But my teens respect myself and my husband and each other (due to the way they have been raised) they dont need to be asigned things to do around the house.

I know my kids are not little angels and I am sure they complain when I tell them they can't go to so and so's party since I dont know the parent of the child having the party and I know my 16 and 17 year have complained about life being so unfair on facebook they cant go out and hang out but am I going to go to extremes to punish them diffenatly not. Everyone has the right to vent and complain most times they are just looking for attention and sometimes children or adults just find the wrong type of attention.



Sorry....I forgot to stipulate that school does come first. I just assumed it. yes, school is their primary job. But, we all have a primary job. We still all have to contribute to the family in other ways too. that means we all have to take responsibility for the family home. If a teen isn't working hard enough at school s/he doesn't deserve the extras they could earn by working anyway. Again, I thought assumed that.

#33 scrappy survivor

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 11:05 PM

I'm so glad this came up and I'm happy that most people here so far are of the same opinion as me. Tons of friends posted this on FB and were raving about how wonderfully he handled it. I don't think so. I found him to be immature and if he can afford to shoot a laptop that he apparently just payed over a hundred to upgrade, then clearly his dd won't have any sense of the value of things either! She clearly does not feel able to communicate with her parents if she resorted to this kind of public venting. I feel bad for her and wonder what kind of things were said and done when the camera was off!



Guess I would be one of those frinds.... lol I mostly was applauding his backbone his willingness to stand up to her and to make the consequenses real and immediate. I also after thinking about it for a few said.... I think it would be better to have had her have to give it to a needy student or a charity that needed a computer.

In my uninformed opinion this seems to be something that bothers people who haven't grown up around guns.

In the south, where my family is from and this family is clearly from, putting a bullet in something is generally not such a taboo act. It would not have made me afraid that my parents were going to be violent to me at all. It would have had the desired effect on me.

Since I've lived in Canada it has been very obvious to me that the general attitude towards and around guns is much, much different here.


COMPLETELY agree.... down south there are laws where you can carry all the time. Odd that crime is lower in those areas. Also more people here seem more affraid becuase of less exposure.


Did you not do chores growing up. I know I was expected to. I see no chore that could be assigned in a home as being arbitrary. Keeping the home neat and clean is the responsibility of all in the home. It affects all who live and visit there, including teens and their friends. The health and welfare of all in the home should be shared by all. This means the parents who go out and work everyday to put food on the table, a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and all the other necesities should not also have to clean that home without help if there is a teen to help out. And free labour? WTH!? I don't think expecting them to participate in household chores as free labour.
All I have left to say is......go through the teen years with an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child, then get back to me. Until you have been in the shoes you have no right to judge.


I agree with all of this.

I expect them to take care of their stuff, and I take care of mine. The only part of the house that is arguably "theirs" is their rooms, and even that is still my house. I'm not giving them any confusion there, on equal partnership. It is my house, I will make the decisions, and with making that decision the bulk of the responsibility lies with me. By the time they could walk I've had them start picking up after themselves, small increments at a time. I am not, nor will I be, their slave. That goes both ways though.

My goal with parenting is to get them to be independent self-sufficient beings. They are my children, not my minions. They are to pick up their messes, laundry, dishes, toys, apply themselves to their homework, strengthen their weaker spots in their curriculum, and to mind how they treat people. That is their responsibilities, not the chores I don't feel like doing.

Am I parenting teens? No. But considering how much time I spend around them (friends and families kids), and that I was one within the last ten years I do get to have an opinion. I'm not looking back 20 or 30 years shaking my fist at kids these days.


You say you have them clean up THIER messes only. Do they not use the tub the toilet the sink? Do they not walk on the floors? Do they not eat in the house?? Then part of thsoe messes are theirs. There is nothing worng with them ahving to clean a toilet or sweep or whatever. I can tell you I was the spoiled brat of the house who did not HAVE to do any of those things and my mom basically was my made she did everything for me. I did not appreciate it like I should ahve I did not realize how good I had it when it came to not having to do things around the house. Kids today have no idea what it takes to runa house I had no idea at all. My parents made it easu for me just clean my room go to school go to work IF I wanted. Which I did becuase Iw anted more $$ then they were giving me and I spent it on anything I wanted while they provide me a car paid the insurance and the gas and bought al my clothes etc.... If I had to eat dinner between school and work they paid for that too. It is sad realy they did not make me work for things at all. Sure I worked I blew all my $$ while they gave me everything I could ever want. I think they see now that I would ahve been better served had things not been that way. I was a giving kid if someone needed soemthing I would have given them anything of mine so I never acted spoiled but I did not know what it was to ever need anything or to have to do anykind of manual labour around a house. I never learned to cook and still don't do it well which is why hubby does all of it.

AS for having beena teen.... I was did it help me to parent the 3 I already have HELL no it did not... kids today are totaly different. I also don't think having parented 3 kids who literally put us through hell... that it will prepare me enough for what is coming with the next 4 as each decade is different and bring new challenges and just ebing around it does not qualify anyone as they can't realy understand the magnitude of it al unless they are the one going through it. Trea raised one already that won't prepare her for the next one because times are changing. Each year simple as that each generation fo teans will need different things and wil make their parents face different things. So there is no way even having raised 3 teens already that I would say I am cometent to tell anyone how to deal with todays teen.

#34 justsamma

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 11:34 PM

In my uninformed opinion this seems to be something that bothers people who haven't grown up around guns.

In the south, where my family is from and this family is clearly from, putting a bullet in something is generally not such a taboo act. It would not have made me afraid that my parents were going to be violent to me at all. It would have had the desired effect on me.

Since I've lived in Canada it has been very obvious to me that the general attitude towards and around guns is much, much different here.

I think that is the main problem people have. They're all "ZHOMG HE'S SHOT THE LAPTOP! WITH A GUN!!!! JEEEEEZUS!! SOMEONE LOCK HIM UP! HE'S GOING TO GET THE KITTENS!!"

i'm sure y'all take away kids toys & such when they misbehave, don't you?
really its the same thing. Except he is from the south so there are clearly societal differences & people don't spazz over guns.

HE bought the laptop, it is a PRIVILEGED he granted her, she disobeyed & clearly did not act in a manner in which he found appropriate so if he wants to go put some bullets in the god damn thing he has every right in the world to do so.
she clearly isnt "traumatized" by it & im sure he made his point loud & clear.

just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean it is wrong or damaging. it just means you have a different way of doing things. plain and simple.


i was a teen once & i KNOW if my parents would have done something like this i would have gotten the point really quickly.

#35 Tired Mom

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Posted 14 February 2012 - 12:35 AM



Did you not do chores growing up. I know I was expected to. I see no chore that could be assigned in a home as being arbitrary. Keeping the home neat and clean is the responsibility of all in the home. It affects all who live and visit there, including teens and their friends. The health and welfare of all in the home should be shared by all. This means the parents who go out and work everyday to put food on the table, a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and all the other necesities should not also have to clean that home without help if there is a teen to help out. And free labour? WTH!? I don't think expecting them to participate in household chores as free labour.
All I have left to say is......go through the teen years with an ungrateful, deceitful, self-centered child, then get back to me. Until you have been in the shoes you have no right to judge.


I agree with all of this.

I expect them to take care of their stuff, and I take care of mine. The only part of the house that is arguably "theirs" is their rooms, and even that is still my house. I'm not giving them any confusion there, on equal partnership. It is my house, I will make the decisions, and with making that decision the bulk of the responsibility lies with me. By the time they could walk I've had them start picking up after themselves, small increments at a time. I am not, nor will I be, their slave. That goes both ways though.

My goal with parenting is to get them to be independent self-sufficient beings. They are my children, not my minions. They are to pick up their messes, laundry, dishes, toys, apply themselves to their homework, strengthen their weaker spots in their curriculum, and to mind how they treat people. That is their responsibilities, not the chores I don't feel like doing.

Am I parenting teens? No. But considering how much time I spend around them (friends and families kids), and that I was one within the last ten years I do get to have an opinion. I'm not looking back 20 or 30 years shaking my fist at kids these days.


You say you have them clean up THIER messes only. Do they not use the tub the toilet the sink? Do they not walk on the floors? Do they not eat in the house?? Then part of thsoe messes are theirs. There is nothing worng with them ahving to clean a toilet or sweep or whatever. I can tell you I was the spoiled brat of the house who did not HAVE to do any of those things and my mom basically was my made she did everything for me. I did not appreciate it like I should ahve I did not realize how good I had it when it came to not having to do things around the house. Kids today have no idea what it takes to runa house I had no idea at all. My parents made it easu for me just clean my room go to school go to work IF I wanted. Which I did becuase Iw anted more $$ then they were giving me and I spent it on anything I wanted while they provide me a car paid the insurance and the gas and bought al my clothes etc.... If I had to eat dinner between school and work they paid for that too. It is sad realy they did not make me work for things at all. Sure I worked I blew all my $$ while they gave me everything I could ever want. I think they see now that I would ahve been better served had things not been that way. I was a giving kid if someone needed soemthing I would have given them anything of mine so I never acted spoiled but I did not know what it was to ever need anything or to have to do anykind of manual labour around a house. I never learned to cook and still don't do it well which is why hubby does all of it.

AS for having beena teen.... I was did it help me to parent the 3 I already have HELL no it did not... kids today are totaly different. I also don't think having parented 3 kids who literally put us through hell... that it will prepare me enough for what is coming with the next 4 as each decade is different and bring new challenges and just ebing around it does not qualify anyone as they can't realy understand the magnitude of it al unless they are the one going through it. Trea raised one already that won't prepare her for the next one because times are changing. Each year simple as that each generation fo teans will need different things and wil make their parents face different things. So there is no way even having raised 3 teens already that I would say I am cometent to tell anyone how to deal with todays teen.

Yes they use the toilet, tub, walk on the floors, leave toothpaste in the sink, and other such logical things. They know these things need to be done, they see how frequently they are done, but they are not marinating their hands and lungs with chemicals while I clean them. You should note that I haven't said my kids don't sweep or help out otherwise around the house. If they feel like it they do. They KNOW they don't have to, they do it because they want to help.

If Belle is in the washroom and notices the small garbage cans are full she will take it upon herself to take the bag to the big can and put a new bag in it. She will go around the house making sure rooms that are supposed to have paper towel or toilet paper or kleenex do. Both of them will change the cat's water every day. They look for different stuff they can help with, but I refuse to ok the heavy cleaning. It's all the stuff that I DO put my foot down about that leads to refusal to participate. Otherwise they are chomping at the bit to want to do stuff themselves.




In my uninformed opinion this seems to be something that bothers people who haven't grown up around guns.

In the south, where my family is from and this family is clearly from, putting a bullet in something is generally not such a taboo act. It would not have made me afraid that my parents were going to be violent to me at all. It would have had the desired effect on me.

Since I've lived in Canada it has been very obvious to me that the general attitude towards and around guns is much, much different here.

I think that is the main problem people have. They're all "ZHOMG HE'S SHOT THE LAPTOP! WITH A GUN!!!! JEEEEEZUS!! SOMEONE LOCK HIM UP! HE'S GOING TO GET THE KITTENS!!"

i'm sure y'all take away kids toys & such when they misbehave, don't you?
really its the same thing. Except he is from the south so there are clearly societal differences & people don't spazz over guns.

HE bought the laptop, it is a PRIVILEGED he granted her, she disobeyed & clearly did not act in a manner in which he found appropriate so if he wants to go put some bullets in the god damn thing he has every right in the world to do so.
she clearly isnt "traumatized" by it & im sure he made his point loud & clear.

just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean it is wrong or damaging. it just means you have a different way of doing things. plain and simple.


i was a teen once & i KNOW if my parents would have done something like this i would have gotten the point really quickly.


Do you believe in rehabilitation?