Jump to content


Dad uses Facebook to teach daughter a lesson

  • Please log in to reply
42 replies to this topic

#36 sherri


    Hopelessly devoted

  • Forum Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,413 posts

Posted 14 February 2012 - 07:24 AM

just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean it is wrong or damaging. it just means you have a different way of doing things. plain and simple.

i agree
its the same with spanking or any other parenting choice
what works for you is great but just because it works for you does not mean it works for others

#37 emmsmama


    "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

  • Forum Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,787 posts

Posted 14 February 2012 - 08:26 AM

My kids do chores around the house (keep their rooms clean, take turns each night doing dishes, sometimes dust or vacuum if I ask them, feed the pets, and other odds and ends if I ask them). They don't get an allowance to do chores. I tell them that families work together to help each other out so we all have to do our part. I wouldn't expect them to get a job while in school, unless they wanted to save up for something that was a want and not a need as needs I will pay for.

I think that is the main problem people have. They're all "ZHOMG HE'S SHOT THE LAPTOP! WITH A GUN!!!! JEEEEEZUS!! SOMEONE LOCK HIM UP! HE'S GOING TO GET THE KITTENS!!"

HE bought the laptop, it is a PRIVILEGED he granted her, she disobeyed & clearly did not act in a manner in which he found appropriate so if he wants to go put some bullets in the god damn thing he has every right in the world to do so.
she clearly isnt "traumatized" by it & im sure he made his point loud & clear.

just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean it is wrong or damaging. it just means you have a different way of doing things. plain and simple.

For *me* the issue isn't the gun, it's the pointless destruction of the laptop and the whole message behind it. Yes, it was his "right" to destroy it, but she would have learned a lot more if he would have had her help him donate it to a family that would appreciate it. Instead, she's going to get a good laugh and some more popularity out of the whole event and in a few months someone will likely have already bought her a new laptop. The fact that she was talking in the follow-up about shooting up her phone shows that her dad's stunt didn't teach her the value of the things she's given at all.

#38 SourPickle


    Just getting started

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 301 posts

Posted 14 February 2012 - 08:54 AM

I'm not sure what this was supposed to teach the child and I certainly wouldn't advocate for shooting things, that's not how *I* would go about things... BUUUT I'm not going to judge. Live and let live, I suppose. :dunno

Edited because I am having space bar fail.

Edited by SourPickle, 14 February 2012 - 08:55 AM.

#39 theresab


    New Kid on the Block

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 284 posts

Posted 14 February 2012 - 10:35 AM

You know, while I completely GET the feelings of WANTING to destroy the computer for a child being disrespectful in her use of it, I think that a rational adult may stop to think that this is also not teaching the child to be respectful of both the money (hard work) that it tookSOMEONE to purchase it, and the property itself.

My step daughter was also recently caught using both her cell phone and notepad that we got her in an inappropriate manner. What she did was so out there, that we had to take action to ensure that a....this could not happen again and b...give the message that inappropriate behavior does bear severe consequences. My husband and I together decided that the notepad was gone for the foreseeable future ... She has access to a computer if needed for school only now, in the living room and only when supervised directly by one of us. The cell phone, os a totally unnecessary luxoury, and has been taken away from her permanently.

I said I get what the man was feeling, because I felt the same I think when it happened here, I wanted to smash the computer and cell phone. But, to me, that would send the message that it os ok to fly in a fit of rage and destroy something....which it is not. Honestly, what saved us from doing that was sending her to her room, and us going to ours to take a few hours to calm down and be able to call her out and discuss it reasonably. Of course, she being a teen did not think that the loss of her items was REASONABLE, but that is her issue, not ours.

I never shake my fist at "teens these days" because although it's been a long time since I was one, I have had the opportunity to be involved with MANY great ones in my kids' outside activities. All kids can be fantastic, and all of them have the potential to do something inappropriate. They may look and sound grown, but we need to remember that they can be very impulsive and do things rashly, and regret later. As the adults, we have to try and model the behavior we desire, and hope that with guidance and redirection and more patience the I personally a can muster most days, that they will come out of their teen years ok.

That is why, I believe it may have not been the best choice for that man to shoot the laptop.

For the record, I was born and raised in Windsor/LaSalle. My dad was a hunter, so we always had guns in the house, though I do not and will not now. I was taught by him how to fire a rifle in my early teens, it knocked me on my butt a few times....it isn't the gun that is the problem....it is the mentality of the owner. Much the same, it isn't the computer, cell phone iPod or what have you that is the problem.....it is the user's good or poor choices.

#40 Keegsmama



  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,033 posts

Posted 14 February 2012 - 02:03 PM

If it was me and my dad did that he would know I'd stop talking to him. I don't care for guns and that would have been ineffective for me.

My son cleans on his own. He knows what he needs to do and does it. He cleans other people's houses. I don't expect him to clean out the toilet or the tub. Keep his room clean, take out the garbage, put his clothes away, help entertain his sisters while I'm cooking and that's about it. He does extra when he wants something but I would rather clean the house myself. I don't think kids should be cleaning the house. I didn't have kids to have built in housekeepers. Clean up after themselves and respect the house.

#41 Outnumbered


    Hopelessly devoted

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,146 posts

Posted 15 February 2012 - 09:44 AM

Wasn't there a video a couple years back where a man shot his wife's laptop and everyone here saw the implied violence there? If I remember correctly he was made out to be abusive in that case. Do different standards apply to children?

I have nothing against guns, but this father's actions were fueled by anger. A single round from a 45 would have ruined that laptop, but he emptied the clip into it.

#42 harleyrae


    Just getting started

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 338 posts

Posted 15 February 2012 - 10:33 PM

Apparently my dh said there is another video where she responded back to her dad via a video On Facebook. He saw it on a friends page. I couldn't believe it when he td
Me what the video said. I think the family needs some counseling.

#43 Danielle


    Hopelessly devoted

  • Forum Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,897 posts

Posted 16 February 2012 - 06:44 PM

Here's a well-written perspective from a local blogger and businesswoman. I agree with every word.