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Missing class with sick kids


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#1 vals

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 07:45 AM

Do you think its fair to penalize parents who miss class becasue they have a sick kid and no one to watch them? I missed one day this week because dd was ill with a very high fever to boot and I had no one to watch her. The rest of the week my mum came, but it was just one day that no one was available. I have now subsequently missed an inclass assignment that was worth 5% of our final grade ( no prior knowledge of this) and I even took the time to email her at 3 am, sent my homework and ask about the next eays work so I would complete it. The teacher was apparently angry the next day because a couple people were also absent and made a point of saying to he other stdents that she was offended when people dont come to class. Im wondering if from now on I should take dd to class with me when she is too sick to go to daycare so I dont "offend her" and lose valuabe marks?

#2 sims

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 08:26 AM

its sad
but yes it happen
sorry she was sick
HUGS

#3 jenny

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 08:56 AM

I don't think it's fair to penalize...if you are truly stuck.

That said...

DH has brought our youngest to his class once (I had to work and DH couldn't miss class). He sat and read and drew. Teacher and students didn't mind. Although DH did clear it with the teacher first.

#4 SourPickle

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 09:45 AM

I've been in a similar situation - actually just this week. My yds had a high fever, bronchitis and an ear infection. He has not been able to attend daycare all week, which is really hard, as that means that I have to stay home because dh can't really get time off work - we NEED his pay checks!!

I ended up missing the deadline to hand an assignment in, so when I took yds to the clinic to get his meds, I asked the DR. for a note stating that ds was very ill. I also photocopied the daycare's policy that states that children can't attend with fevers/diarrhea etc. I handed my assignment in, 2 days late with the note. I fully expect to receive full marks, as it's a valid reason and I have documentation to prove it. If the Prof. doesn't like it, he can take it up with the Dean. ;)

I find that most Profs (at my University, anyway) are pretty understanding. I even had a prof let me bring yds when he was a newborn to every single class. I'm pretty sure that she had baby fever, but it was still helpful for me :)

#5 Jenn1980

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 06:04 PM

Depends on the teacher. I have 2 teachers who are very flexible. I have one who is extreme opposite. Hope she is feeling better!

#6 terbear

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 06:19 PM

unfortunately, it isn't any different with most jobs

#7 Keegsmama

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 06:33 PM

unfortunately, it isn't any different with most jobs


this

just because you have kids doesn't mean you get special treatment.

#8 moonlightblonde

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 02:36 PM

unfortunately, it isn't any different with most jobs


This! It sucks for sure, I have definitely lost marks and such for a sick kid but really you can't fault the teacher for it. They are busy, they don't have time to try to figure out who is telling the truth..I mean, I know you are honest but there is nothing to say other students wont just make up that their kid was sick or any number of other excuses just so they could sleep in/procrastinate and do assignments last minute.

I used up all of my available days off with a sick kid in about 2 months last year - dd is ALWAYS sick and we couldn't send her to daycare. Daddy missed time, grandma missed time & I missed a ton..sick kids are a pitb.

#9 vals

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 05:14 PM


unfortunately, it isn't any different with most jobs


this

just because you have kids doesn't mean you get special treatment.


This isnt work though,this is school and Im paying a lot of money for it! I dont expect special treatment because Im a parent, but I do expect the teacher to be respectful and understanding of the situation and not make belittleing statements to the rest of the class about absenteism.

#10 jenny

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 05:15 PM

Yes a little understanding is certainly nice. Hope your DD is feeling better.

#11 Tired Mom

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 06:30 PM


unfortunately, it isn't any different with most jobs


This! It sucks for sure, I have definitely lost marks and such for a sick kid but really you can't fault the teacher for it. They are busy, they don't have time to try to figure out who is telling the truth..I mean, I know you are honest but there is nothing to say other students wont just make up that their kid was sick or any number of other excuses just so they could sleep in/procrastinate and do assignments last minute.

I used up all of my available days off with a sick kid in about 2 months last year - dd is ALWAYS sick and we couldn't send her to daycare. Daddy missed time, grandma missed time & I missed a ton..sick kids are a pitb.


Yeah, Sandra was very insistent on her policies.


Vals it doesn't matter if you are paying a lot of money to go or not. Yes she can be respectful about it, but the bottom line is the instructor shouldn't have to rework a bunch of stuff for individual students. Attendance is really black or white. You are there, or your not, when you are taking post secondary.

#12 JavaBean

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 08:51 PM

Maybe a conversation with dh is in order? Once you start working, this will still be an issue and at some point, it will need to be discussed between the two of you as he is a parent as much as you are. I actually would assume the prof wasn't referring to you but others who may not be as diligent as you are. Don't take it to heart. You did everything you could to let her know you weren't going to be there.

#13 vals

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 08:52 AM

My s/o and I have discussed it in detail, unfortunately when we have no one to cover I aveto stay because a days wages for him are not worth losing. We are lucky that when she is sick Nana can usually watch her, but this instance this past week she had to take my sister for her scope so we were screwed. Im taking my additinal work in Tuesday and hopinqg she accepts it, if not oh well, but I will be bringing my kid to school with me if this happens in the future. Im a stickler for doing really wellon my assignments and exams, somlosing 5% of a fial grade is eating at me :(

#14 Trea

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 11:40 AM

The "I am paying so I should get what I want" attitude is ruining post secondary education!

When I talk to friends of mine who teach at St. Clair this is their #1 complaint! You are paying the profs to give you an education, not to bend to your will. I hear stories all the time about students playing on-line during class then expecting the prof to go over the material all the time. It is the "I'm paying" attitude that these kids claim. Most expect a certain percentage of their grade to be given for just showing up! (not being in class mentally, just physically).

This is the reason so many profs have started doing more pop tests, some of which have high grade percentages. IMHO 5% is not that much really. It might make a difference between passing and failing for some but, if you are only 5% off failing, maybe having to repeat is not a bad thing.

No, profs/teachers should not be expected to cater to every single individual student. Going to class, doing the work and learning is the job of the student. That student pays the school to provide them with a good education. Sometimes a good education is not comfortable.

When I went to college 20yrs ago I would never have thought "I'm paying so they should do what I say". I thought "I want the best education I can get"

#15 jenny

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 03:58 PM

The "I'm paying" attitude is played out in a wrong way by certain individuals. HOWEVER for those who are serious about their education which one being Vals, went to the instructor to try to make arrangements to have the stuff completed, they are in fact a paying student and tried to be responsible by contacting the instructor. I can't understand why the instructor can show attitude to those who are serious and try to make accomdations. It's not like she was nursing a hangover...her DD was sick. And obviously sick for more then 1 day as she had other resources who had helped her out but this one day she couldn't find anyone else. She did the right thing by emailing the instructor. And yes instructors deal with many students and some who don't take their education as seriously as some.

Some of the instructors around are not very kind to some students. DH went to one to ask something when it came to an assignment to be sure he was on the same page as what the instructor was thinking...and the instructor said to him "I'm not gonna do your work for you". DH wasn't looking for someone to do his work for him. But the next student went up and asked for help and the instructor gave that next student help with no attitude whatsoever. Like really? DH is holding honor of distinction and has for the last 1.5 years and wants to keep it, and was being responsible to ensure he was doing something right and this instructor was power tripping.

So the really "I'm paying" attitude can be turned around. These instructors are paid to teach these students. They should be available to help the student if possible. The instructor could have emailed back at their earliest convience. But without students the instructors wouldn't have a job. And sometimes life happens where we get sick so those who are legitimately ill or can't make it to class who show some sort of initiative should be able to use the "I'm paying why can't we work something out?" Should that be used on someone who is known to always miss class or always be hungover etc...no. But for serious students who don't make it a habit, yes.

Another thing...if the instructor is sick...class gets cancelled if they can't find a fill in. So then what? The students have to work more or miss out. KWIM???

Now 5% can be a big deal...and no not on the well if that means you'll fail it, but it can mean the difference between and A or B grade. 5% should never be dismissed as ONLY 5%.

This is all IMHO.

#16 Trea

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 05:54 PM

Vals did the right thing asking the teacher about the work she would miss. The teacher lumped her in with the other students and that may be wrong. But, all in all, you miss class you suffer the consequences, no matter the reason.

#17 Jenn1980

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 07:57 PM

The "I'm paying" attitude is played out in a wrong way by certain individuals. HOWEVER for those who are serious about their education which one being Vals, went to the instructor to try to make arrangements to have the stuff completed, they are in fact a paying student and tried to be responsible by contacting the instructor. I can't understand why the instructor can show attitude to those who are serious and try to make accomdations. It's not like she was nursing a hangover...her DD was sick. And obviously sick for more then 1 day as she had other resources who had helped her out but this one day she couldn't find anyone else. She did the right thing by emailing the instructor. And yes instructors deal with many students and some who don't take their education as seriously as some.

Some of the instructors around are not very kind to some students. DH went to one to ask something when it came to an assignment to be sure he was on the same page as what the instructor was thinking...and the instructor said to him "I'm not gonna do your work for you". DH wasn't looking for someone to do his work for him. But the next student went up and asked for help and the instructor gave that next student help with no attitude whatsoever. Like really? DH is holding honor of distinction and has for the last 1.5 years and wants to keep it, and was being responsible to ensure he was doing something right and this instructor was power tripping.

So the really "I'm paying" attitude can be turned around. These instructors are paid to teach these students. They should be available to help the student if possible. The instructor could have emailed back at their earliest convience. But without students the instructors wouldn't have a job. And sometimes life happens where we get sick so those who are legitimately ill or can't make it to class who show some sort of initiative should be able to use the "I'm paying why can't we work something out?" Should that be used on someone who is known to always miss class or always be hungover etc...no. But for serious students who don't make it a habit, yes.

Another thing...if the instructor is sick...class gets cancelled if they can't find a fill in. So then what? The students have to work more or miss out. KWIM???

Now 5% can be a big deal...and no not on the well if that means you'll fail it, but it can mean the difference between and A or B grade. 5% should never be dismissed as ONLY 5%.

This is all IMHO.


Yeah, not every college student is irresponsible and lazy. I don't force my teachers to give me a break, but I explain my situation and I always thank them when they give me a little leeway.

#18 SourPickle

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 08:11 PM

Most of my profs have their own personal policy for missed classes/tests/assignments that is written right on the course syllabus. Usually a doctor's note is needed for medical reasons, or some other form of documentation is needed for compassionate reasons. Do people abuse it? Yep, for sure. Most profs are well aware of who attends class, who is active in class discussions, so it's not really fair to be lumped into the "slacker" category.

I don't think it's really as cut and dry as "you miss class, you suffer the consequences". IME most profs are quite approachable and most have been more than willing to give extensions etc. This isn't because students are "entitled", but rather that most profs genuinely want to see their students succeed. That's not to say that profs should cater to every whim, but there needs to be a little leeway.

#19 vals

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 01:04 PM

Im far from lazy and she knows this, but as I dig a little more as to what happened that day I found out that apparently one of my friends who is also in this class missed that day too so Im assuming she thinks we took a day together which is complete nonesense ( i dont have time to socialize and havnt been out since 2009). I have a doctors note for dd and a hospital bracelet with the date so at least I can show her that I was legitimately off and not just screwing around. I think the primary issue is that two students in the class are constantly absent so she is getting pissy, especially since the school just changed its absenteism policy ( just found this out also). We'll see what happens tomorrow. Im handing in the work regardless of whethe or not I get graded, at least that way she an see that I actually took initiative, asked anothr student for the work I missed and completed it.

#20 jenny

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 01:35 PM

two students in the class are constantly absent so she is getting pissy,


That's the problem right there. It's the students who don't take attendance seriously that ruin it for those who do. But...it's not in professional nature to get pissy with those who are actually absent for a good reason.

I would do exactly what you are doing...handing in the assignment. I hope she'll take it into consideration for you. :)

#21 Trea

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 03:53 PM

Im far from lazy and she knows this, but as I dig a little more as to what happened that day I found out that apparently one of my friends who is also in this class missed that day too so Im assuming she thinks we took a day together which is complete nonesense ( i dont have time to socialize and havnt been out since 2009). I have a doctors note for dd and a hospital bracelet with the date so at least I can show her that I was legitimately off and not just screwing around. I think the primary issue is that two students in the class are constantly absent so she is getting pissy, especially since the school just changed its absenteism policy ( just found this out also). We'll see what happens tomorrow. Im handing in the work regardless of whethe or not I get graded, at least that way she an see that I actually took initiative, asked anothr student for the work I missed and completed it.


Good for you!

Hopefully she will give you a grade and tell you to keep quiet about it to the other students.

it really does suck that those who work hard are affected by those who don't. I equate it to marking on a curve...not really fair because your grade is affected by others'