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What are my rights?


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#1 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 06:35 PM

Grace is having surgery in a couple weeks. I had heard that I would be able to go in and hold her while she goes to sleep. Is this true? What are my rIghts as her mother?

#2 jenny

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 07:06 PM

I was not allowed to when my son had surgery, and he was 4. I was with him both times until it was time for them to bring him in the room. The OR has to remain sterile so I'm not sure if they would allow you right in there while they put her to sleep.

#3 Keegsmama

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 07:13 PM

I was not allowed to do that the three times Keeghan has had surgery.

#4 Jenn1980

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 07:17 PM

Same with Emily, when she had her surgery, I was only allowed till she left for the OR.

#5 Claudia

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 07:20 PM

My niece had surgery a couple years ago and my sister was allowed to stay with her until she fell asleep. This was at Met.

#6 Outnumbered

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 07:42 PM

It might depend on what type of sedation she's getting. The child life specialists at Met are excellent. In my experience the toughest part for the kids is coming OUT of the sedation, especially if they'll be uncomfortable.

#7 Kris

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 08:02 PM

ds has had 3 surgeries and I was allowed to be with him through the prep stuff. I stayed with him until they wheeled him into the O.R Than I was in recovery with him before he woke up.

Dont panic if she wakes up and is freaking out. Ds did this, he tried to pull his I.V out and get up to go pee. I had to hold him back to get a nurse to help us get him in the bathroom

#8 Trea

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 09:10 PM

I wasn't allowed to go with T to the OR either. I specifically asked because he is very insecure. I knew that no matter what they would have to hold him down physically if I wasn't there. I offered to scrub, gown and glove to go in even. Nope, not allowed.

I agree the child life specialists at met are great. They really help. I took T on the tour of the surg prep area they offered about a week before his surgery. "Surgical Safari" is what they call it. My link Here is a link to the info on it. Met does a grat job at doing all they can to keep the kids relaxed.

It was hear wrenching for me when he was taken to the OR by the nurse and Dr. He got 3 steps and began to freak out. I could hear him crying for about 2 minutes. I think that was when they got him sedated. Luckily I understood they were doing all they could to help him and they know what they are doing. That was the only part of the day that was even a little difficult though. Right until then was great and from the time I couldn't hear the crying it was great. He didn't even have an issue with the IV when he woke up because he was expecting it. (and like I said he is super insecure, he worries constantly about things)

#9 justsamma

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 09:28 PM

my sister was with Neph for both brain surgeries, the external shunt and the VP shunt. She i also with him for each MRI, CT or anything that requires sedation.
but everything is done in London with him.

#10 momand2kidz

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 06:46 AM

I wasn't allowed to go in the OR either. He was mildly sedated before he went in so there was no anxiety really on either of our parts.

#11 murkywaters

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 06:47 AM

4 ORs here both met and HDH never allowed in to the actual OR room. You stay with them in the OR waiting room until they get walked over to the OR

#12 Jill

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 06:47 AM

I can't see them letting you.. She is right in the middle of their sterile field and to compromise that is really not safe..

I agree it would depend on what exactly she is having done, and what the sedation is..

#13 Outnumbered

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 08:38 AM

If extreme anxiety (the child's)is a concern I'd talk to the team about sedation.

#14 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 09:28 AM

If extreme anxiety (the child's)is a concern I'd talk to the team about sedation.

What about mine? Lol. That's what I'm afraid of. She's 3 and she's going to be in a room full of scary strangers with masks on who are going to hold her down and start smothering her with a mask. That's going to be traumatic for her. I want it to be as easy for her as possible.

#15 Outnumbered

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 09:44 AM


If extreme anxiety (the child's)is a concern I'd talk to the team about sedation.

What about mine? Lol. That's what I'm afraid of. She's 3 and she's going to be in a room full of scary strangers with masks on who are going to hold her down and start smothering her with a mask. That's going to be traumatic for her. I want it to be as easy for her as possible.


Goodness! It's not anything like that - do the surgical safari. The child life specialists explain everything, let her decorate her own mask and pick a flavor of lip balm to put in it so it smells nice. She meets the surgical team before the masks go on, too. Remember, she'll look to you for cues, so do everything you can to set your mind at ease as well. Is she having a myringotomy ?

#16 one_new_mom

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 09:56 AM

Why not call the dept at the hospitel. or the Dr doing the procedure's office?

#17 Trea

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 10:08 AM

I think you are more anxious than she will be. It really is not "that" big of a deal for them. Even with t and his anxiety he got over it very, very quickly. He was 4. He may have had a fit when they took him but, he wasn't affected by it at all after. He didn't even remember it actually. The staff was wonderful and they understand that it can be scary for the kids. They do all they can to decrease the anxiety of the kids.

I agree, if you can get into the surgical safari do it! It will help your anxiety also.

#18 justsamma

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 10:14 AM


If extreme anxiety (the child's)is a concern I'd talk to the team about sedation.

What about mine? Lol. That's what I'm afraid of. She's 3 and she's going to be in a room full of scary strangers with masks on who are going to hold her down and start smothering her with a mask. That's going to be traumatic for her. I want it to be as easy for her as possible.

it really isn't like that.
They do a damn good job to make sure their fears are eased as much as possible so it isn't traumatic.

#19 Jill

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 10:15 AM

I agree, take her on the safari.. They really aren't do cold as you've played up in your mind!! A lot of effort goes into making kids as comfortable as possible!!

#20 Kris

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 10:38 AM


If extreme anxiety (the child's)is a concern I'd talk to the team about sedation.

What about mine? Lol. That's what I'm afraid of. She's 3 and she's going to be in a room full of scary strangers with masks on who are going to hold her down and start smothering her with a mask. That's going to be traumatic for her. I want it to be as easy for her as possible.


ds was given a mild liquid sedative before all that because they can 't get a mask or IV on him without sedation

#21 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 10:49 AM

Remembering that my kid can't hear, doesn't speak, is 6-12 months behind in her development and has no way to communicate that she's scared other than screaming

#22 Kris

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 10:57 AM

Remembering that my kid can't hear, doesn't speak, is 6-12 months behind in her development and has no way to communicate that she's scared other than screaming


This was our issue with Darion his verbal skills where still in the works and get had a hard time communicating his worries, hence the Ativan lol

#23 Keegsmama

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 11:35 AM

Remembering that my kid can't hear, doesn't speak, is 6-12 months behind in her development and has no way to communicate that she's scared other than screaming


Keeghan couldn't hear his first time and was younger than Grace.
She will surprise you. Kids are a lot more resilient than us parents give them credit for.

#24 jenny

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 11:47 AM


If extreme anxiety (the child's)is a concern I'd talk to the team about sedation.

What about mine? Lol. That's what I'm afraid of. She's 3 and she's going to be in a room full of scary strangers with masks on who are going to hold her down and start smothering her with a mask. That's going to be traumatic for her. I want it to be as easy for her as possible.


They are great there. You'll be the one on edge. But no worries...she's in great hands. When they took my DS down the first time as it was emergency as soon as they left OR waiting room...I bawled and bawled. But they reassured me and they were so kind and warm and loving to both DS and myself. He was not scared...it was all me scared. I think it's so much worse for us parents.

#25 Outnumbered

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 01:56 PM

DS had a myringotomy at 18 months, he did great. Honestly, the hardest part is coming OUT of sedation. They don't understand waking up confused and uncomfortable in an unfamiliar place.

#26 Lasergirl

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 02:22 PM

They didn't let me in with Nate either- and I specifically asked. I agree though- coming out of it was worse than going in. But I got in really quickly and was able tocalm him as best I could until he could sleep it off a bit.

#27 Trea

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 08:22 PM

Remembering that my kid can't hear, doesn't speak, is 6-12 months behind in her development and has no way to communicate that she's scared other than screaming


The people there are trained to deal with this. It is their job and they are very good at it. Even a 4yr old who can hear and speak will often not listen and cannot verbalize their frustration beyond screaming either.

#28 Kristi

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 08:37 PM

I wasn't allowed when my 3 WEEK old had surgery. They took him from me in the waiting room! Hardest thing i have ever gone through!!!
I think parents should be allowed when a child is little!

Just wondering who is the Dr. doing the surgery????

Edited by Kristi, 04 August 2012 - 08:40 PM.


#29 Tired Mom

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Posted 04 August 2012 - 09:45 PM

I wasn't allowed when my 3 WEEK old had surgery. They took him from me in the waiting room! Hardest thing i have ever gone through!!!
I think parents should be allowed when a child is little!

Just wondering who is the Dr. doing the surgery????

I fully admit I have never been in those shoes, so I probably can't get it.

One really, really doesn't want distractions in an OR. A controlled environment is crucial, for many different reasons.

#30 bcnap

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Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:48 AM

oh boy.... I was NOT allowed, as I was told I COULD. and the Dr and nurse took her from me, she was hitting, screaming, ripped teh nurses necklace off her neck. ( they fully deserved it how they approached her) she was completely comfortable with the child coach? and they couldnt wait for her to come back as she said she would be 2 minutes... and it was AWEFULL.
they said it was a sterile area and they dont do that .. but i heard they did, so not sure why they made it so flipping difficuly for us.

#31 mysticmom

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Posted 05 August 2012 - 06:56 PM

I was not allowed with either of my boys either. One was 2 when he had his done and the other was probably 3. Best of luck!

#32 ~Tracy~

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Posted 06 August 2012 - 12:42 PM

Its normal to feel that way, I am sure most of us did feel that way.

ODD's surgeon came to get her and they went into OR. Met Hosp was amazing with her. I was a basket case until she was out of surgery and they let me see her.

I agree take the Safari tour with Grace.

#33 mysticmom

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Posted 06 August 2012 - 01:52 PM

What is safari tour?

#34 momand2kidz

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Posted 06 August 2012 - 02:04 PM

What is safari tour?


Come Join us for a surgical safari tour!

The surgical Safari tour is preoperative tour for children having surgery at Windsor Regional Hospital. A group tour is available weekly for children ages 3-7 on Saturdays and Sundays for children ages 8-12. Individual tours are available weekdays at 1:00 pm for families unable to attend the group tour. If you are not sure how to prepare your child for their upcoming surgery, let us help! On the tour, a child life specialist will provide age appropriate explanations of medical equipment and show your child the areas of the hospital he or she will visit on their day of surgery.

You must register your child with Child Life Services in order to attend the tour
To reserve a spot for your child on the tour or to receive more information please call:

Child Life Services at:
519-254-5577 ext. 53408

My son decorated a doll that had an IV in it's arm that he got to bring home. He also decorated the mask that they use to put them asleep. He got to lay in a hospital bed and look at the equipment. They did lots of things actually. I would highly reccomend this program to anyone who's kids are having surgery.

#35 mysticmom

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Posted 07 August 2012 - 07:50 AM

That would have been cool. They had nothing like that when the boys had theirs done!