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#1 vals

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 12:09 PM

I had dd at our GP recently to address her continued toilet training resistance and he sent us to the Ped. who has now referred my to Childrens First to see a psychologist.  I keep hearing mixed reviews and do not want to further distress this kid.  She already has doctor issues since our accident in May, so I really would rather not freak her out if it can be avoided.  Has anyone used their psychologists or programs?  Thoughts?  Does it help or hinder???



#2 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 12:31 PM

My experience was horrible and if there ends up being a referral for Edwin down the line I won't be accepting it. I'd rather pay for services than receive whatever diagnosis they want to hand out for my child that gets them the most funding. We went through workers like an assembly line and finally got a good one only to be discharged from the program because we don't agree with their diagnosis.

#3 Supermel

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 02:24 PM

I have heard great things from some people in my home daycare circles. I think you can only try and if you aren't happy with how it is progressing then you can always opt out. Good luck.



#4 vals

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 02:59 PM

I did the over the phone thing today, discussed what we had tried, what the gp and specialist had said etc….  They want to send someone out to the house and to her pre-school, which I do not agree with. It just feels a little too much like a CAS visit and I don't feel comfortable asking her teachers and director of the pre-school if they would allow some stranger in to watch for a day.  I was under the impression she was going to see a psychologist who might be able to help with her complete and utter hatred for all things toilet?   My s/o is not going to be for having strangers coming into the house either.  Are we able to ask for a psychologist that we pay to see???  I don't even know where to start.  This is all new to me.



#5 Trea

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 05:42 PM

How old is she? Both my boys were literally just shy of their 4th BDs before they trained. My nephew was nearly 6 before he would reliably have a BM in the toilet (he'd hold it for up to a week!) and T still at 10 has "accidents". (don't let him know I mentioned it LOL!)

 

I wouldn't allow them to do a home/school visit either. I've heard mixed reviews of them also. From what I hear they do work hand in hand with CAS and that, in itself, scares me about them.

 

I was referred to them when ODS was young. They were no help at all. Even when I asked for specific help I got little from them. I was already involved with CAS at the time and it was a CAS referral to them. I did out "mandatory" visits then stopped going.



#6 vals

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 08:20 PM

dd is four and will be five in March.  She was partially potty trained around 18months and then regressed due to illness.  We followed the advice of the physician and let it go for a while, but the problem is that now it seems to have become somewhat of a power struggle and frankly mommy is losing it.  We went through 14 pull-ups today (yes you read that right). She has no developmental issues, no physical issues that have been found as yet and other than lack of "go sensitivity" seems to be fine and  understand how the whole toilet thing works.  I just don't want some CAS posse blasting into my home and personal life and finding fault somewhere when I no for damn certain there is none.  Im not a bad parent, my child is not abused, you could eat off my floors, hell you could eat off my toilet, so when she made the home check comment I was a little taken back and frankly a little offended.   I'll go see a psychologist, but in an office, like normal (lol, I just wrote that) people.   Thats what I assumed would happen after all.



#7 LisaP

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 12:01 AM

I would think that the home/school visit would be a little bit over the top for a toilet training issue. I had brought one of my daughters to The Children's Place at Windsor Western because she was struggling in school (not a behavior issue). I felt like they were digging for something that wasn't there. I felt like they were trying to find fault with how I took care of/raised my child, instead of getting her the help that she needed. It turned out that she has a learning disability which you would think that trained professionals would pick up on quickly but took over 5 years for a diagnosis. I was not overly impressed with them. It was a very long process with very little progress. 
I am not trying to discourage you from using their services, every situation is different. 



#8 momand2kidz

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 09:09 AM

I too think having them watch her at school is not a good idea. But what IF you threw the pullups away? Make her put them in the garbage and say goodbye to them. I have to agree that 14 pullups is alot (not passing judgement btdt)But I always found them to be way too convenient. It was easy to pee and poop in them. At 4 if she pees or poops in her underwear then show her how to clean it up herself? Maybe then she would tire of having to do that 14 times a day? Just a thought... I had similar issues as you as well but 2 weeks before he started JK things were ok.He was using the toilet on a regular basis minus the pullups. Good Luck..I get your frustration.

#9 Kris

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 11:02 AM

Not a good experience with them here either. Was referred to them for speech therapy and behaviour for ds. They came to my house and yes it feels like they are reaching for anything to blame you on. I knew my son was autistic I just couldnt get anyone to take me serious. They just wanted to pump my 3 yr old with ritalin.



#10 chat_cath

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Posted 31 July 2013 - 06:24 PM

Hi again.  We were going through toilet issues around the same time at some point and I know we chatted then.  Sorry to hear still going on.  DD (recently turned 5) is trained now although still will have (mostly poop) accidents on occasion - poop was our last huge issue that took until about Feb of this past year to get resolved so she was about 4 1/2 then.

 

I think if you involve a psychologist or CF at least you should get some support because it's so hard to figure out what/if to do.  We were told she's "just not ready" when I talked to dr. too when she turned 4.  I have only dealt with CF as a teacher where I had CF come and observe a child with behaviour issues (not toilet) and they were great to help give me ideas and set up a behaviour plan. 

 

I think having someone come and observe at your house/school may feel intrusive, but it's probably hard for them to try to help you if they can't picture the whole situation.  They may pick up on some things you don't see as it's everyday for you and I know you must have a lot of emotion tied to it all, whereas they should be objective.  Of course I would think your child would act different if someone is there observing them at home though?  Less so at school I'd think.  Who knows?  I would think it's worth a try at this point since you've no doubt tried everything else.



#11 vals

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Posted 31 July 2013 - 08:36 PM

We had a major breakthrough, well school did yesturday. She decided to wear underwear all day and used the toilet and got a little certificate and lots off praise. It was nice to know she could do it, but she regressed as soon as she got home and now won't try anymore. I def think she needs to see someone because it's almost all too apparent that the toilet resistance is just another of her control tactics and I would really love to better understand why she behaves the way she does with me. We are working on toilet hardcore this weekend while daddy is home and seeing the specialist again next Friday at which time I'm going to ask to see someone outside of CF. Just to many negatives. Thanks for all the reviews, it helps.

#12 creative mama

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Posted 05 August 2013 - 07:04 AM

I never went further than the initial call.  It was when I first separated from my husband and I was considering bringing my son in to ensure that the divorce and whatever manipulation his dad was possibly doing wasn't hurting him.  The intake nurse was filling in for someone on vacation so she rambled on and on about the process.  Now this is going back a few years, but basically she told me that if they see anything that is 'suspect' they would have to call in CAS and then everything would be out of their and my hands.  Not something you really want to hear when you're just trying to get help.  I cancelled the appointment.



#13 LisaP

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Posted 05 August 2013 - 09:27 AM

I never went further than the initial call.  It was when I first separated from my husband and I was considering bringing my son in to ensure that the divorce and whatever manipulation his dad was possibly doing wasn't hurting him.  The intake nurse was filling in for someone on vacation so she rambled on and on about the process.  Now this is going back a few years, but basically she told me that if they see anything that is 'suspect' they would have to call in CAS and then everything would be out of their and my hands.  Not something you really want to hear when you're just trying to get help.  I cancelled the appointment.

It's really terrible that they make someone who is trying to be a good parent feel like they are going to be spied on and possibly investigated. It seems these days that a child can't just have an issue/problem without it being the parent's fault. The threat of being investigated will prevent good parents from getting help for their children.   



#14 vals

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 10:46 AM

We've had a huge breakthrough here, so they aren't needed anymore anyway, but what Im wondering now is what happens when they call to follow up and schedule a meeting and I say no?  We have a follow up with the ped. on Friday which is when CF will be calling.  Will they still hound me once I say no???  I seriously regret being referred now. 



#15 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 01:29 PM

Everything is strictly voluntary or so they say.

#16 vals

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 08:52 AM

I AM LIVID!!!!!!!!!   CF called dd's pre-school today.  I was told that nothing would proceed until after her appointment on Friday and yet today they called.  I'm so not impressed!!!!  I want to call and rip them a new one, but the whole CAS thing and the fact that they just asked in a round about way wether or not they thought she was mistreated is bothering me.  IM BEYOND PISSED!!!!!!



#17 mom2spiritedboys

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 03:00 PM

If this is the case then call and ask to speak to the person's supervisor. They need your permission to call the daycare and if they don't have your permission then the person has violated your right to privacy.

I AM LIVID!!!!!!!!!   CF called dd's pre-school today.  I was told that nothing would proceed until after her appointment on Friday and yet today they called.  I'm so not impressed!!!!  I want to call and rip them a new one, but the whole CAS thing and the fact that they just asked in a round about way wether or not they thought she was mistreated is bothering me.  IM BEYOND PISSED!!!!!!



#18 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 03:10 PM

Yes! You are required to sign a form allowing them to communicate with the provider and if you haven't signed anything than they're in a breach of confidentiality.

#19 mom2spiritedboys

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 03:41 PM

Verbal; permission is allowed but if vals didn't give permission at all then she needs to make a complaint

Yes! You are required to sign a form allowing them to communicate with the provider and if you haven't signed anything than they're in a breach of confidentiality.



#20 vals

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 03:50 PM

I called and spoke to the woman who called and asked her to close the file completely. I voiced my disdain in a polite manner and they were still pushy about staying involved. She basically said "I guess I jumped the gun". Ya I'm not happy. It was an uncomfortable experience for her teachers and myself and considering we had opted not to use them and to have this happen, not impressed!!!!! I will be complaining to the Ped. at Fridays appointment.

#21 Kris

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 10:20 PM

oh I would be so pissed! When I was involved with them they could not do anything without a signed consent form from me.



#22 Mama2Gracie

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 12:24 AM

Me too kris. There was no verbal anything. No form, no action

#23 mom2spiritedboys

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Posted 08 August 2013 - 03:25 PM

oh I would be so pissed! When I was involved with them they could not do anything without a signed consent form from me.

There are times, particularly at intake, that the consultant will ask for verbal permission to call the childcare or school or doctor (whatever is the appropriate situation) to gather more information. Verbal consent is valid though later when you have face to face meetings they will get written consent. 

 

I have to say that both my boys went through Children First. There were times where I hated that they were coming to my house because I felt I had to clean it all up but once I got over that it was fine. We had Psych involved for both our boys but that was only after we had worked with the consultants for some time. Something did happen at one point that I was not ok with and I took it up with the person AND their immediate supervisor and it went as high as the ED. She sorted it all out and I felt it was taken care of appropriately.  

 

If you prefer to go to a Psychologist directly, if there is still a need - you can certainly do that. It will cost between $150-200 an hour and I'm not sure who could help you with toileting - I have lots of names for lots of issues but not that - I'd typically direct people to CF. 



#24 vals

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Posted 10 August 2013 - 08:01 PM

We have opted to work with the ped. We've come to understand its not a regression issue as much as a phobia with the toilet and thus far the peds suggestions have been working really well. As far as CF doing what they did, I understand that they are suppose to get permission before making any calls which they did not and therefor where in the wrong. This is apparently not uncommon with them and something I find appalling.