Jump to content


Photo

Is being a SAHM equal to a paying job?


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 LisaP

LisaP

    Thoroughly addicted

  • Forum Administrator
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,512 posts

Posted 27 September 2013 - 08:02 PM

Do you feel that your spouse thinks that being a SAHM is equal to working at a paying job? Does your spouse pitch in with the housework and caring for the children? 



#2 Mama2Gracie

Mama2Gracie

    So in love with my saving Grace

  • Sponsors
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,329 posts

Posted 28 September 2013 - 01:06 AM

As a working mom, I feel that I do all of the same things any other mom would do along with working 40 hours a week - sometimes up to 60 hours a week :/. I still have dinner to make, laundry to do, a house to clean - nobody does it for me just because I work, there's just less time to fit it all into and still have time to play, cuddle and sleep.

#3 Michaels Mommy

Michaels Mommy

    New Kid on the Block

  • Forum Administrator
  • Pip
  • 246 posts

Posted 28 September 2013 - 06:25 AM

I don't ask my husband to help out during theweek much with thehouse work but when it comes to the weekend I usually expect at least a few hours of help doing things that are not daily tasks as for helping me with the kids... I usually can't wait topass them off when he gets home...during his work day he is entitled to 2 15 minute breaks and a half hour lunchand he has theprivledge of associating with people older than 3... I would kill for just one of those breaks... if one child is sleeping tje other is not...im never so lucky...
And even though it doesn't always happen (although sometimes it does) I believe parenting should be 50/50 no matter how much he works the kids need toknow they have an active father and he respects their mother and that their is no such thing as gender specific tasks esp when it comes to parenting. They need toknow that both parents areon board. I love having the opportunity toraise my children instead ofsticking them in a expensive day care where there is only one teacher for every so many kids

#4 Trea

Trea

    M2M member since Sept 2005

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,797 posts

Posted 28 September 2013 - 08:44 AM

When I stayed home he helped out after he was done work. He took over care of T for the evening so I could focus on ODS and dinner. He also often cleaned up after dinner since we'd always had a "I cook it, you clean it" deal.

 

I also never, ever cut grass lol. I would do any other outside work that needed to be done, if I had time but, grass was always his department. He loved me being home because of that. He'd always been responsible for "outside" the house and me "inside" for the most part. (He always helped with inside but, I did most of it).

 

But, I only had ODS at first when I decided to stay home. He was 10 at the time. Then T came along and he was an angel child!



#5 vals

vals

    Proud member since September 2008

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,169 posts

Posted 29 September 2013 - 07:52 PM

Both pink and blue jobs are mine. It's tough, because our house is on the large side and being an OCD neat freak, I'm forever cleaning. It does sometimes feel like I'm working 3 jobs, even before gong back to work, my "daily task list" was extensive and I certainly always felt I worked just as hard at home as my s/o did at work.

#6 LoveMyKids2

LoveMyKids2

    New Kid on the Block

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 283 posts

Posted 06 October 2013 - 07:20 PM

I do all of the housework(deep cleaning included) so everyday I have 'chores' as well as working 50+ hours a week. My son plays travel hockey so I have that 5 days a week then all of the other family time! I stayed at home for 4years,and I was just as busy being at home as I am now but I manage to get it all in. I do however sacrifice sleep to be able to get it all in, but i wont get only 4hours sleep a night forever....just for the next couple of years lol



#7 LisaP

LisaP

    Thoroughly addicted

  • Forum Administrator
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,512 posts

Posted 10 October 2013 - 10:31 PM

I found this great article called "Your a Stay-at-Home Mom? What Do You Do All Day?" It is written by a man who "gets" that being a SAHM is really a job!!

 

http://themattwalshb...you-do-all-day/



#8 Trea

Trea

    M2M member since Sept 2005

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,797 posts

Posted 11 October 2013 - 09:03 PM

When I wasn't working I did't find it to be a "hard" job to be a SAHM. The house was kept clean, made sure ODS got to school and home, argued with him about homework, made dinner (though others cleaned up after dinner) and I did the yard work (other than cutting grass. I've never used a lawn mower in my life and don't intend to change that LOL). My ex would bathe T and get him ready for bed each night as their "together" time. I even found time to do my dog training and get my sleep that my meds caused me to need.

 

But, I had only 2 kids and one was fairly self sufficient at age 12.



#9 emmsmama

emmsmama

    "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

  • Forum Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,787 posts

Posted 06 November 2013 - 08:12 PM

When I was a SAHM I usually did the household things, but hubby would help out with bathtime, bedtime, and other parenting things at night.  When I worked part-time nights hubby helped out more with suppertime and after-supper cleanup.  When I started doing home daycare I usually still did all the household chores.

 

Just in the last year or so though I've come to the point where I'm tired of working doing daycare all day and then still doing all the household stuff and usually all the yard work as well.  I used to wait for hubby to just help out on his own, which he does sometimes, but then if he didn't just "see" what needed to be done then I would end up ticked that he wasn't helping out and bitter and tired too.  So now I just ask him to do what needs to be done.  Most days he helps out with packing lunches and every weekend I ask him to vacuum the whole house.  You'd think he would just do it now that I ask him every weekend, but nope I still have to ask lol, but at least he does it.  If I want help with yard work I ask.  If I want him to pack school lunches I ask.  I've told him that if it's a day that I have daycare kids until past 5pm and he's home by 4 or so, then he's on supper duty.

 

I don't think it's a gender stereotype to say that most of the time women see what needs to be done and just do it, whereas men don't automatically think to do all the household stuff, but I'm much happier now because even though I have to ask him to help most of the time, he does help.


Edited by emmsmama, 06 November 2013 - 08:14 PM.


#10 murkywaters

murkywaters

    Plotting a takeover

  • Forum Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,645 posts

Posted 24 April 2014 - 02:00 PM

As a working mom, I feel that I do all of the same things any other mom would do along with working 40 hours a week - sometimes up to 60 hours a week :/. I still have dinner to make, laundry to do, a house to clean - nobody does it for me just because I work, there's just less time to fit it all into and still have time to play, cuddle and sleep.

Unfortunately this is how a lot of working moms think... which is why there are such things as SAHM spots... A lot of times they feel that other people look at them as lazy and just doing the regular things everyone else does. In fact we do a LOT of extras.  We pretty much fill up our full day with kid stuff.  

 

To answer the question NO my spouse very much did NOT look at me as an equal. I was ridiculed all the time about it however he never had any idea WHAT it was exactly I was doing. 



#11 Mama2Gracie

Mama2Gracie

    So in love with my saving Grace

  • Sponsors
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,329 posts

Posted 24 April 2014 - 10:00 PM

I never said anyone was lazy and did nothing all day. This is how things get heated quickly when things are twisted and taken out of context.